“A Long Time Ago…..”

We were reviewing Rich’s pictures recently and marvelling about how far he has come, photographically speaking, in the last few shoots.

“I want to be shot with your new light-meter”, I said. “My portfolio looks very substandard compared to your new abilities. I want to look like that.”
I was looking at the gorgeous Linx at the time (Photo below)

My dear husband wiped his face of all expression and said “I am very happy to shoot you so you can update your portfolio. ”

Mmm. I detect a small whiff of some unspoken undercurrent here.

“Are you saying that I couldn’t look like that? I demanded angrily.

“Well, you do have the disadvantage of 11 years breastfeeding” he replied wearily. “I am somewhat limited to shooting your behind. It’s a lovely behind you know, but folks want to look at the front too.”

“Are you saying I’m too old for art-nudes? I demanded somewhat hysterically.
He had a somewhat panicked look in his eye at this point. Faced with the prospect of two hysterical females in one day (He had already placated an upset two-year old who wanted her photo taken for the hundredth time), he clearly felt that whatever he said would be wrong, and that he was walking on glass.

“I am in a no-win situation here” he said. “If I say yes, I prefer to shoot you with clothes on, then you’re going to get upset because you want to do nudes, but on the other hand, there’s only so many shots you can take of someone’s back.”

“So I am too old!” I said, tears welling up.

You can at this point understand why he wants to give up photography sometimes, and indeed in such circumstances, I find it understandable why many married photographers don’t tell their wives that they photograph young and gorgeous naked models.

My patient husband sighed and remained wisely silent.

I flicked open my web browser moodily and started flicking through random images on web-models.co.uk

My oldest son appeared out of nowhere, peering over my shoulder. He tends to do that a lot nowadays whenever we are looking at beautiful models (other than his mother which is absolutely, totally, utterly gross apparently). Girls have suddenly become VERY interesting to him, and sometimes I am not quick enough to close down the web browser when browsing model portfolios.

“I used to have boobs like that” I said talking to Rich about a gorgeous-but-very-chesty model we were looking at. “But it was a long time ago”

My son piped up “…..In a Galaxy far, far away”.

Humph. He is SO on bread and water for tonight’s dinner.