Christmas Cake Recipe

At this time of year, I generally make a last-minute Christmas cake.

Recipe as follows:

Take a big helping of several months overwork and stress, season generously with seven weeks with no shoot, add a month’s neglect from one’s partner (also due to aforesaid chronic overwork), then add three cups of children plus one mother-in-law. Whisk vigorously with fourteen visits to the supermarket in as many days, and fold in four nights with no sleep due to toddler with conjunctivitis.

Dollop mixture into greased cake tin.
Finally sprinkle too many Christmas social engagements on top, until you can hardly see the cake.

(Cooks Tip: At this point, don’t worry about the cake not being visible. Rest assured it’s mixed up quite thoroughly underneath)

Put in hottest part of the oven and bake for several days. Watch this cake carefully at all times because it can easily burn.

Take out just before Christmas when the top of the cake appears firm and crusty to the touch but is actually still moist and soggy inside.

(Cooks Tip: To determine if cake is moist inside, insert skewer. If it comes out messy, then cake is not yet done)

Let cool in the tin for several hours before turning out onto a rack. You can then add additional flavour to the cake by making a small hole in the top of the cake and adding quite a lot of sherry. This also acts as a relaxant for the cake.

This cake can be reheated extremely easily at any point, if you want to serve it toasty hot with Christmas Rum ‘n’ Brandy Sauce.

Whatever you’re all doing this Christmas, Rich and I wish you a very Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!



Our Christmas Model is Claire Louisa again, in one of our favourite images.