The Loners

Ever had that feeling that you don’t fit in anywhere, and no-one understands you, no matter how hard you try?

You’ll all remember my inability to socialise with the other alpha mothers at my kids school, and our complete social ineptitude at fitting in with the Norfolk country set. We also tried very hard to socialise with “our own kind” in the form of other nude photographers in our area (plus spouses), and we invited them all round. Although they were universally very nice people, and we had some really interesting afternoon chats, they never returned the favour. Maybe we smelled. Maybe my fruit cake poisoned them. Maybe it’s because we are from the south of England, and we are not “real Norfolk people”. I guess we’ll never know. I mean, I always suspected Rich and I were weird, but I always thought we were “nice weird”, if you catch my drift.

So is it just a problem with local people? Well, Rich and I have tried the online social scene in the form of various photography and modelling forums, mainly Web-models and Model Mayhem. Rich found this more interesting than I did, probably because I’m not a photographer, and neither am I drawn to flirting with young fluffies. I am a small-minded intellectual snob, I’m afraid, and I need to be able to talk about something meaningful and remotely intelligent. And before you say so, yes, I am pretentious (you should have realised that about me by now).

IMO, I find that these sites are often very “samey”. You can go back on MM or Web-Models after a couple of months break, and it feels like you’ve never been away. The same ol’ questions, the same ol’ flaming, shaming and blaming. The same cliques – which are very hard to break into. The online internet modelling world in all its noisy and garish glory. Nothing ever changes. Not that this is a bad thing, of course, but I never feel like I fit in. This is possibly because I’m old in modelling years, possibly because I’m a relatively inexperienced model, or because I am very “English” by nature, and this clashes with the cultural attitudes of folks from other countries on the forums (many of whom I find very impolite). I suspect the real reason I never get anywhere is because my life is just too busy to spend every waking moment online, learning how to network and make new friends, no matter how much I may want to.

I asked my dear partner for his opinion. Richard is anti-social by nature and doesn’t try to fit in anywhere. He will compromise for no man. Or woman, come to think of it. NOT EVEN for a semi-nekkid chick. He does everything HIS WAY.

His opinion: “We don’t fit in because we are creatives, and thus we are loners by nature. To be a creative person (such as an artist, writer or even software designer) you have to have a singular vision, which is outside the group mentality which dominates so many of these sites. A creative has to have a vision that is larger than the box which is presented by normality.
To fall into part of a group is not part of a creative’s nature, because you can’t create art by conforming. Creatives are unique and temperamental people. They put their art first, and people second.”

Hmm. This does sound uncannily like us.

My reply: “Hang on a moment, luv. The people on MM would consider themselves artists, and some of them are a heck of a lot better at creating art than you!”

His response: “Yes but they probably don’t fit in either”

I hate arguing with Rich. He always has an answer for everything.

However, it then occurred to me that there is actually one place where I always feel at home.

Here.

The “art-nude bloggie circle”, as I like to call it.
Rich and I fit in perfectly here.
Click on any of the links on the right, and you will meet very like-minded artistic souls, who all have something in common. As well as being amazing photographers and/or models, they are all intelligent and gifted writers, interested in talking about the philosophy of the photographic world, rather than mere social trivia.

You guys are wonderful. It’s great to be amongst friends.

Aw. I’m getting all misty-eyed.
Although, to be fair, it’s probably just my post-operation painkillers making me mushy.




Roswell Ivory. Intelligent, beautiful, and a fellow creative.