~ Ebay.com - Photographers! Need a Muse? Lo price! Starting bid only $99! Wow!~

Are you a photographer who is short of inspiration? Are you short of new ideas? Do you need results FAST?! Then look no further…

Your “MUSE” is your inspiration, your Goddess of your photographic Art. Every photographer needs a muse at some point in his career! When you’re a bit dried out, feeling like a soggy teabag, then your problems can be solved by A GENUINE BONA-FIDE MUSE!

Of course you’ve heard the spiel that your muse can’t be bought, that a muse is a living and breathing human being, and that she is a product of “DESTINY”. You’ve listened to folks who tell you that muses can’t be purchased like a vacuum cleaner, that they are much more abstract and mystical. Some companies tell you that your muse will appear in your life at exactly the time she is supposed to appear, for FREE. You know, “meant-to-be”, divine inspiration, and all that bullshit?

But what if fate doesn’t intervene, and you can’t find her? What if your photographic mind is as dull as ditchwater, and you’re in dire need of inspiration and a sense of direction? What if you’re in a dry spell? Well in that case it’s time to :

ORDER A MUSE!!! BUY NOW!!!

Ordering is easy. Click the “BUY NOW” button above on Ebay.com, and we guarantee to supply your tailored MUSE direct from our company headquarters here at FLUFFYTEK MANUFACTURING INC.

DIFFERENT MODELS OF MUSE AVAILABLE! GODDESSES DESIGNED TO YOUR INDIVIDUAL NEEDS!

What will she look like?
You could order the model designed by famous poet Rupert Graves: “A lovely slender woman with a deathly pale face, lips red as rowan berries, startlingly blue eyes and long fair hair”.
However you don’t have to settle for a template. FLUFFYTEK MANUFACTURING Inc allows you to uniquely design your own individual muse, according to your needs and desires. Each model is supplied internet-ready, and can be programmed simply and easily!

CHOOSE YOUR TAILOR-MADE GODDESS AS FOLLOWS:

Summon your muse. Picture her in your mind. Visualise really hard. If you get nothing, then keep at it (Tip: alcohol sometimes helps with the visualisation process). The more you summon your muse, the more readily she will appear. Then complete your order by clicking on the “Buy Now” button.

HOW QUICKLY WILL MY ORDER BE COMPLETED?

FLUFFYTEK MANUFACTURING Inc is very efficient, but please note we are currently very busy, and are regrettably experiencing temporary shortage of materials. As each muse is built to individual design, a small delay may be experienced until your order can be completed and delivered. We hope you appreciate that QUALITY manufacturing takes time.

(All deliveries supplied via UPS. Delivery is dependent on weight of muse but starts at a lo $30. Import taxes to be borne by the customer).

HOW DO I KNOW I’VE GOT THE RIGHT MUSE?

FLUFFYTEK MANUFACTURING INC advises caution. On rare occasions we can sometimes make a mistake, due to malfunction in the order visualisation process, in which case you should re-seal your muse and return her in her original packaging to us within seven days please.

How do you know she’s your genuine article? Well, FLUFFYTEK MANUFACTURING Inc allows you to test her out on a free trial, in order to make sure she’s the real deal.

Tips for Muse-testing:

A real muse will be demanding, challenging and a right royal pain in the ass a fair bit of the time. Of course she is outstandingly beautiful (to you because you designed her), she has a gleam in her eye, she can see straight through your bravado and your bullshit to the essence of the man and artist underneath. A good muse will be strong, confident and she’ll know herself pretty darn well. She will never ever be a fake (if you detect fakery, then the product is defective and must be returned within seven days please.) Remember that your muse will not expect any fakery or possessiveness from you, otherwise the chemistry will be wrong and she won’t perform optimally. She may drive you crazy a lot of the time, but you will love her with a passion (this is absolutely essential. You can’t create real art without the passion. Mutual lust is good too, as this enhances the artistic process.)



INSTALLATION INSTRUCTIONS:

When you receive your muse, please verify that she is the genuine product, and you’re happy with the quality. Then you’re ready to begin. She’s standing there, naked and ready for set-up procedure. Your muse is not delivered personal-photographer-ready. She only has a basic start-up routine and must complete a training process (please refer to installation manual at this point). Because each photographer is an individual, you are a blank slate to her – she has to get to know you first, which will take some time.

FLUFFYTEK MANFUCATURING Inc recommends that you buy her some nice things (something shiny and expensive – Tiffany’s recommended for optimum performance), feed her what she loves, ply her with some good wine, talk to her gently, and talk some more, and then again and again, long into the night, until you’ve bared your very soul. Keep going until she’s sucked you dry and there’s nothing left. Only then can you be free to open up to your potential, be inspired to Art. Talking is the key to good musedom. Only then can you pick up your camera and create amazing and innovative results!

YOUR STATUTORY RIGHTS:

Of course you have full statutory rights regarding your muse. She has a job to do and is designed to perform to optimum standards. Do not allow your muse to be lazy. Refuse to put away your camera and do not let her rest until you’re completely satisfied with her inspirational performance. Shoot every day, several times if necessary. Try for at least three new ideas every day. She is surprisingly resilient, and will supply an infinite stream of ideas under your able guidance. Setting boundaries like this will ensure you stick to your aims and after only one week you will have several hundred new photographs which you should be very happy with.

WHAT DO I GET WHEN I ORDER?

The end result is guaranteed satisfaction, OR YOUR MONEY BACK!
Your Art WILL IMPROVE DRAMATICALLY, even after this short time.

Your muse is ready and waiting FOR YOU!!!

ORDER NOW!!!

Product Warranty Disclaimer:
The Muse and accompanying materials (including instructions for use and manuals and CD Roms, if any) are provided "as is" without warranty of any kind, to the fullest extent permitted by law. All terms implied by law, including without limitation as to satisfactory quality and fitness for purpose, which may by law be excluded or limited and liability in tort including without limitation for negligence and misrepresentation, are hereby excluded. No oral or written advice given by the Manufacturer shall create a warranty or be otherwise actionable and the photographer may not rely on any such information or advice. If the Muse is defective, the Manufacturer will not be responsible for any or all costs of necessary servicing, repair or correction. Because of the high stress of the artistic process, the Manufacturer recommends that you pace your relationship with your muse over time, and treat her kindly and considerately. Otherwise you run the risk of burning out her motor, and she’ll leave you pretty damn fast.