Product advice
"Dear Fluffytek Manufacturing Inc,
I’m writing to you for advice regarding the Muse I recently obtained from you.
Recently I was suffering from a lack of inspiration when my Muse suggested that we try something a little different. This led to us trying a variety of enclosed spaces in the search for a new photographic perspective.
However, as we progressed to smaller and smaller spaces we ran into a little problem. I managed to cram my Muse into a small square metal box roughly 18” square and have been unable to extract my Muse from said box for several days. She is now getting cranky and I must admit that this is impacting my inspiration considerably.
Would it be possible for you to supply a replacement Muse and arrange for the collection and disposal of this one, as I fear that the Muse will no longer operate correctly for me if and when you are able to extract her successfully from the box?
At the present time, the Muse is getting more and more upset and your urgent attention would be appreciated.
Yours
Bob"
Dear Bob,
Thank you for your email regarding your current Muse issues.
You do appear to have quite a serious problem and I’m afraid that, as you suggested, your Muse will most likely never be the same again.
However, having placed your Muse in a container which would appear to be too small for even the most petite of Muses, you have thus invalidated your warranty and we will not be able to offer you a free replacement Muse.
Furthermore, we have a legal obligation to inform the RSPAM (Royal Society for the Protection of Artistic Muses) regarding this matter. Their rules regarding cruelty to Muses are very clear and placing Muses in small confined spaces for extended periods of time is a serious criminal offence, punishable by imprisonment. Of course, if your Muse model were the “Fetish/Bondage/Contortion” model this would not be the case. However, our records show that you opted for the standard model with enlarged D cup accessories, and thus the authorities have been informed of your actions.
I would imagine you have a few hours in which to try to extract the Muse before the RSPAM arrive, so I would suggest that you spend this time with your Muse attempting to extract her from the container. A tin opener may help.
I would like to thank you for your previous custom and would like to remind you that returning customers are eligible for a 20% discount on repeat orders, should you ever be released from jail.
All the best
support@fluffytek.com
Lynx - being very muse like.
I’m writing to you for advice regarding the Muse I recently obtained from you.
Recently I was suffering from a lack of inspiration when my Muse suggested that we try something a little different. This led to us trying a variety of enclosed spaces in the search for a new photographic perspective.
However, as we progressed to smaller and smaller spaces we ran into a little problem. I managed to cram my Muse into a small square metal box roughly 18” square and have been unable to extract my Muse from said box for several days. She is now getting cranky and I must admit that this is impacting my inspiration considerably.
Would it be possible for you to supply a replacement Muse and arrange for the collection and disposal of this one, as I fear that the Muse will no longer operate correctly for me if and when you are able to extract her successfully from the box?
At the present time, the Muse is getting more and more upset and your urgent attention would be appreciated.
Yours
Bob"
Dear Bob,
Thank you for your email regarding your current Muse issues.
You do appear to have quite a serious problem and I’m afraid that, as you suggested, your Muse will most likely never be the same again.
However, having placed your Muse in a container which would appear to be too small for even the most petite of Muses, you have thus invalidated your warranty and we will not be able to offer you a free replacement Muse.
Furthermore, we have a legal obligation to inform the RSPAM (Royal Society for the Protection of Artistic Muses) regarding this matter. Their rules regarding cruelty to Muses are very clear and placing Muses in small confined spaces for extended periods of time is a serious criminal offence, punishable by imprisonment. Of course, if your Muse model were the “Fetish/Bondage/Contortion” model this would not be the case. However, our records show that you opted for the standard model with enlarged D cup accessories, and thus the authorities have been informed of your actions.
I would imagine you have a few hours in which to try to extract the Muse before the RSPAM arrive, so I would suggest that you spend this time with your Muse attempting to extract her from the container. A tin opener may help.
I would like to thank you for your previous custom and would like to remind you that returning customers are eligible for a 20% discount on repeat orders, should you ever be released from jail.
All the best
support@fluffytek.com
Lynx - being very muse like.
Labels: Lynx Art
posted by Richard at 3:58 PM
4 Comments:
could you send me a demo muse? i'd be happy to put her, rigorously, through varied and regimented processes whereby i'll be testing and then reviewing her operational functionality and manufactured quality. I will then publish my findings on my blog.
Dear JimmyD,
We would be most happy to supply a demo model if you can first supply some idea of expected sales return from the circulation of your blog.
Obviously a Muse is an expensive asset and there is pretty much no chance of reuse, thus the Muse would be non-returnable and and the full costs would be bourn by ourselves.
I hope that you can appreciate that such a demo model would only be in our interests if you could give us some idea of expected ROI.
Regards
Fluffytek Support.
You guys are too a-muse-ing!
Richard--
While I cannot accurately predict potential sales (as a result of any review I might write regarding your graciously-provided muse), I would gladly accept a demo muse that is appropriately marked with your company's logo. Perhaps some clothing accessories that advertise your company? You might also affix a permanently-applied tattoo (applied in an anatomical region of your choice) to the muse. A tattoo of this nature would insure that your company's logo contact info would be visible to the public when my muse is working sans clothing.
Respectfully,
jimmyD
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