This post contains strong language!
This is being typed in a rare moment of access to the internet. Nowadays I take internet access where I can find it and make the most of it.
About ten days ago Rich bought me an early Christmas present: a beautiful shiny new laptop to replace my very old and ailing machine. It was gorgeous - fast, silver, sexy, with a trendy aluminium pouch on the case so I could insert my favourite nude photograph into the laptop cover. It also had large and sparkly flashing orange and red lights all over it. I kid you not! You turn this baby on, and it lights up like a Christmas tree! With a nude photograph in the pouch, it actually becomes a nekkid-chix-yuletide-wonderland-sex-tool. Completely divine! The only thing missing is a pink furry mouse (and I’m still working on that - my cat brought me a real one today, but alas it appeared to be broken.)
After admiring and caressing the loveliness of my beautiful chick-tool, it was time to actually use it. I had recklessly elected, nay, actually VOLUNTEERED (in a moment of madness) to put Microsoft Vista on it. Rich cautioned against it - he said, “Stay with XP. Vista has got bad reviews.” Silly me, I should have listened. I thought I knew better. I thought I could cope. I thought I was invincible.
Needless to say I fell flat on my face. Since my Fucking Vista Laptop (henceforth to be known as FVL) has arrived, our day-job server network has crashed on average at least twice an hour, every hour of the day and night. The DNS has gone down every twenty minutes for ten days straight. Photographic clients thought I had freaked out in a jealous rage and forced Rich to give up photography. Day-job customers thought we had quit software. Rich has lost hours and hours of code. I have lost too many blog entries to count. Doesn’t matter how much we try to fix it. Nothing works. Richard is the cleverest and most advanced computer geek I know. If he can’t fix the FVL then no-one can.
I have no remote internet connection from the house, so the only time I can go online to blog is to sit alone all evening in a very cold office next door, attempting to go online by stealing someone else‘s PC, although the network is so poorly that it’s frankly almost impossible to do anything. Tonight it has taken me over two hours and countless attempts to order online my organic vegetable box for next week. Needless to say - I have failed in this Herculean task (FVL crashed, and the DNS went down), and the family is living off beans on toast for the foreseeable future.
I have now finally admitted defeat. I will therefore be off-net for a while (no change there then) whilst my FVL is wiped clean and XP is restored to it. So I lose some very pretty graphics, but it’s a small price to pay to get my life back. Rich then has to pick up the pieces of the network, and try to restore calm to a very upset computer network and an equally psychotic wife.
In the meantime, I am very cold - there is no heating in the office at night, so please do picture me, a little ol‘ lady (white-haired and nearly bald), wrapped in blankets, typing frantically over a lone keyboard under a single light, with only the cat (and accompanying mouse-guts) for company.
I am cybernetically paralysed.
I have PMS and Vista.
I have run out of chocolate.
I am not a happy woman.
The evil Vista vanquishes the helpless maiden.
(Actually Diablo and Jenvy from last year).
About ten days ago Rich bought me an early Christmas present: a beautiful shiny new laptop to replace my very old and ailing machine. It was gorgeous - fast, silver, sexy, with a trendy aluminium pouch on the case so I could insert my favourite nude photograph into the laptop cover. It also had large and sparkly flashing orange and red lights all over it. I kid you not! You turn this baby on, and it lights up like a Christmas tree! With a nude photograph in the pouch, it actually becomes a nekkid-chix-yuletide-wonderland-sex-tool. Completely divine! The only thing missing is a pink furry mouse (and I’m still working on that - my cat brought me a real one today, but alas it appeared to be broken.)
After admiring and caressing the loveliness of my beautiful chick-tool, it was time to actually use it. I had recklessly elected, nay, actually VOLUNTEERED (in a moment of madness) to put Microsoft Vista on it. Rich cautioned against it - he said, “Stay with XP. Vista has got bad reviews.” Silly me, I should have listened. I thought I knew better. I thought I could cope. I thought I was invincible.
Needless to say I fell flat on my face. Since my Fucking Vista Laptop (henceforth to be known as FVL) has arrived, our day-job server network has crashed on average at least twice an hour, every hour of the day and night. The DNS has gone down every twenty minutes for ten days straight. Photographic clients thought I had freaked out in a jealous rage and forced Rich to give up photography. Day-job customers thought we had quit software. Rich has lost hours and hours of code. I have lost too many blog entries to count. Doesn’t matter how much we try to fix it. Nothing works. Richard is the cleverest and most advanced computer geek I know. If he can’t fix the FVL then no-one can.
I have no remote internet connection from the house, so the only time I can go online to blog is to sit alone all evening in a very cold office next door, attempting to go online by stealing someone else‘s PC, although the network is so poorly that it’s frankly almost impossible to do anything. Tonight it has taken me over two hours and countless attempts to order online my organic vegetable box for next week. Needless to say - I have failed in this Herculean task (FVL crashed, and the DNS went down), and the family is living off beans on toast for the foreseeable future.
I have now finally admitted defeat. I will therefore be off-net for a while (no change there then) whilst my FVL is wiped clean and XP is restored to it. So I lose some very pretty graphics, but it’s a small price to pay to get my life back. Rich then has to pick up the pieces of the network, and try to restore calm to a very upset computer network and an equally psychotic wife.
In the meantime, I am very cold - there is no heating in the office at night, so please do picture me, a little ol‘ lady (white-haired and nearly bald), wrapped in blankets, typing frantically over a lone keyboard under a single light, with only the cat (and accompanying mouse-guts) for company.
I am cybernetically paralysed.
I have PMS and Vista.
I have run out of chocolate.
I am not a happy woman.
The evil Vista vanquishes the helpless maiden.
(Actually Diablo and Jenvy from last year).
Labels: Jenvy
posted by Lin at 8:21 PM
2 Comments:
I tell everyone I know to run memtest86 on their new machines. Recently I didn't follow my own advice and was tearing my hair out because my new XP machine was randomly dying many times a day. So I ran memtest86 and eventually figured out that the machine's A2 RAM slot is bad.
You could try running memtest86 on your laptop and see if anything is wrong with the hardware.
By the way, I love your blog.
I could just see you, Lin, huddled over that computer in cold. And having waded through a myriad of operating systems during my software days, I shared your disgust with one that wasn't working for you.
I'm using a PC at the moment, but when it was time for Patty to get a new machine, she returned to the Mac and hasn't looked back since.
I saw a cool demo of the new Mac notebooks running OS X and XP (or Vista), which they ran faster than similarly equipped PC notebooks. So when it's my time to go shopping, I may return as well.
Will
Post a Comment
Links to this post:
Create a Link
<< Home