The Next Level

I’ve read a lot of blogs and photography articles recently where photographers say “I’m taking my photography to the next level”. Richard also uses this phrase a fair bit.

What exactly IS this mysterious “Next Level”?

Is this some mysterious trendy photographer jargon that I’m missing? It sure sounds cool and arty.
Are these articles referring to a complete reorientation of a photographer’s style and change of direction ?
Does “the next level” mean when a photographer wants to have a good clear-out of old images, and only post his best work in future ?
Is it an excuse to upgrade your equipment and buy a new whizzy camera perhaps ?
(Rich has been dreaming about the Hasselblad again. You can tell, can’t you?!)
Or is it just bullshit-speak because the photographer is bored and dissatisfied with his quality of photography generally?

I am wondering how on earth you assess your current level anyway.
Is it defined by the equipment you use or the quality of images you produce ? And how do you judge “quality”?
Assessing your current level is by its very nature an entirely subjective experience. Are you really the best judge of your own work? For example, I can find your image really breathtakingly beautiful, and you can find it completely substandard and lacking in lighting, skill and direction. Doesn’t mean the image is any less beautiful, or that you aren’t amazingly talented, but it does tell me you should stop thinking that the general public can’t judge your work properly, and that you should take the time to pause and smell the roses, and just try to appreciate the perfectionism that others see in your “less than perfect” picture.

I guess what I’m wondering is if any photographer, or artist come to think of it, will ever be happy with their work? Sure they might be occasionally happy with a particular photograph, but what are the chances that this state of contentment with their quality of work will be sustained for a week, let alone for a month ?

There are literally hundreds of articles on the internet about taking your photography to the next level. I actually took the time to read about twenty of them before I decided they were mostly technical rubbish with a catchy title. Many articles warn against “jumping too quickly” to the next level, resulting in wasted time and money. Many advise going back to basics, rather than try and shoot something which you won’t be good at. To me this is total bullshit. Yes, the basics are always important. But how the hell are you ever going to evolve your photographic skill if you are overly self-critical and you never TRY? There’s a big difference about talking about the “next level” and actually enacting change.

In the business world, taking your business to the next level is marketing-speak for “How do you get big?” I’ve read plenty of articles about this too. This is really about making someone love your product so much that they can’t resist having it. Apparently you have to stop seeing yourself as a victim and blaming others for your lack of success. You have to assume 100% responsibility for your product. You must have an audacious vision, develop strategic alliances, and be prepared to ditch activities and processes that don’t support your growth.

This is just highly contagious marketing-speak for being obsessive about your work. If you work incredibly hard at something, and you love what you do, then you are almost certainly going to get better at it, and the quality of the results you produce will improve. If you are passionate about your work, it shows, and other’s will love your product (photograph) too.

Serious photographers are perfectionists by nature. I’ve never met one who isn’t living and breathing their work, to the extent that it sucks them in and absorbs every fibre of their creative being. And if your work is nekkid chix, well, small wonder that your spouses get fed up with it sometimes. Just how long can a photographer spend looking at a pair of breasts ? The spouse can never be 100% sure that the photographer really is obsessed with perfecting that image of those humungous boobies, or totally obsessed with the humungous boobies themselves. I guess it’s a matter of trust (*Sigh *)

But I digress.
After all this reading, I’m really none the wiser. I have concluded that this much talked-about “next level” is merely a photographic utopia that will never exist except in the mind. There will always be a “next level” to strive for. And when you finally do run out of levels to reach, and you are completely happy that you have reached the absolute pinnacle of photographic perfection, well, I guess your task in this world is complete, my friend, and your purpose in life is done.




Lynx, talking of perfection.

Modelling names

What’s in a name?

Time for a bit of light relief.....what would your porn name be????

There is a persistent Internet meme about how to choose a porn name (some combination of first pet's name or mother's maiden name or your middle name with the street name of your first address) So, for example, if you get your first pet's name and put it after the first street name where you lived, you come up with your supposed porno name.
Mine is Weeble (cats name) Crow (street name). Well, that’s not going to get many viewers lured to my web site in the hope of a bit of hot action, is it? Nor can I envisage many perv’s out there googling Weeble Crow in the first place. And to be honest, since the mother’s maiden name and pets’ names are the most common internet passwords used, you’d be pretty bloody stupid to choose your porn name based on these criteria.

Choosing a professional modelling name is a serious undertaking, which requires a lot of thought. You have to live with your name, it’s your calling card and it has to grow as you do. It’s the first major decision you make on entering the modelling industry, and you must not underestimate its importance. Above all, don’t leave choosing a name until you are confronted with a release form in a photographers studio, or you’ll end up with something really sad and desperate.
(Note that our release forms always insist on the model’s real name – my overly cautious legal training kicking in again)

The key to picking a great professional name for the nude modelling industry is to forget you’re in the adult industry at all. Just pick something that sounds cool and professional. The best-known nude models have names that would work equally well if they were acting in a big movie, or in an opera, even in a big fashion house.

What, if any, is the impact your pseudonym has on a modelling career?
Well, I guess it depends on which genre of modelling you are interested in. For example, if you are a model who shoots open-leg shots or straight porn, let’s face it, your name isn't your most salient feature. And Carrie Cumfish might be a very memorable modelling name, but it sure is going to limit your range of modelling styles in the future.
But if you pick a cool, stylish and professional-sounding modelling name, this also enables you to be versatile in your modelling career.

Similarly, when choosing your modelling web site URL, you should avoid names that tie a description to the name you want. Naughtynadine.com (a very naughty lady) is a particularly tacky example. Plus, be very careful that you don’t breach any trademarks or trading names when you choose your web site address.
Most nude models seem to choose something exotic or fetish sounding, which will be a good hit on the search engines, or will make them sound dominatrix-like (hence the “von” in my modelling name). Whether or not this is a good idea depends on why you are modelling (Art ? Fun ? Money?) and what modelling genres you wish to shoot (Fashion? Glamour ? Porn ? Fetish ? Goth ? Horror ? Fine-art nude?)

So how did I choose my modelling name ?

My first modelling name was Dracunculus, after Dracunculus vulgaris, aka Arum dracunculus or Voodoo Lily. Here in the UK, this is also known as the rotting-flesh plant. When it flowers, it produces a huge amorphallus spike, that looks, well, you can imagine. Plus it smells very strongly of rotting flesh. I think this plant is pretty cool, to be honest (planted one to plant next to our fence, for the purposes of tormenting our horrible neighbours). And the fact that I named myself after a giant stinky phallus should tell you quite a lot about me. However you will agree, it’s not the most alluring modelling name ever, and it sure didn’t entice many folks to click on my MM profile. So I modified it to L-von-B, which (I’m ashamed to say) is Richard’s invention, and is a simple play on my real name. I don’t particularly like it, but I haven’t thought of anything better yet.

As for the name Fluffytek, I believe I’ve told the story of that one before. Most photographers seem to use their real name, but Rich doesn’t use his very much, as the media and search engines don’t like it. Bang may be a genuine Norwegian name, but the search engines and magazines keep banning him for being a pervy photographer, as they assume he’s associated with something creepy (now, now, no comments please).

What matters in the modelling industry is how you market yourself. You have to present a slick image, and I don’t just mean physically. You have to craft your modelling persona carefully in order to shape how people perceive you as a product.

Your name IS your image, and Image is all.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I really have to go work think up a new modelling name....



Sirensong as Shelob. Beautiful modelling name (Sirensong, I mean, not the Shelob bit)

Defiant Frugality

It’s not often I blog about my day-job, but this has been annoying me for a while, so if you’re not interested in personal finance, just skip today’s post and move on to the next blog please….

In the current political and financial climate in the UK, the middle classes are pretty unhappy. Public services are a complete shambles, pensions are worthless, state schools went to the dogs long ago, and taxes are soaring. Most middle-class people are horribly in debt, overworked and rarely see their family. From what my US friends tell me, I believe the situation is much the same on the other side of the pond.

Last week the Times suggested that the solution to this mess is “Defiant Frugality”.
Nice term. I like it.

Why do we buy stuff we don’t need, like fancy shoes, the latest designer labels, processed food, and electrical gadgets that end up unused in the cupboard ? Why do we have to have the latest fancy medium-format camera, the latest lens, the latest shiny latex corset as worn by Bianca Beauchamp? And down to basics, why do we throw out over a third of the food we buy ?

Here’s a thought : Why not say “no”?
Give the finger to the system by rejecting consumption. The Government tells you to spend, spend, spend to support the economy.
Don’t.
Don’t shop, don’t waste money.
Reduce your overheads. Don’t buy anything you see in an advert, ever. Don’t buy things in packets (try that for a week and see how hard it is. I lasted four days).
Above all, don’t buy things on credit – it’s not your money.

Instead, spend wisely only on the things that really matter to you. And that doesn’t mean new seven inch fetish heels for your latest shoot – try nude modelling, no expensive outfits required.

If you spend less money, you will be able to work less. Plus you’ll pay less taxes! You’ll be able to spend more time with your family, friends or lovers, whatever (although lovers can be extremely expensive, so choose a cheap one).

It strikes me that most people would generally be a lot happier if they had basic lessons in how to draw up a monthly budget, and how to reconcile their bank statement. IMO, financial management lessons should be made compulsory in schools. It would sure make future generations a lot happier. Mind you, so would shooting the tax-man.

Sorry about the lecture folks, but I am an accountant, after all.
Come back soon Rich, and talk to us about the wonders of nude photography…..



Looking at nudes is much nicer than talking about budgeting, don’t you think?
(This is Kate, BTW)

Motherhood

Very long week here, work-wise, plus I’m sorting out moving my middle kid to a different (and frighteningly expensive) school later this year, as his current one sucks.
All this is very traumatic on both heart and wallet, and doesn’t leave much room for creative writing, or much money for photography either. But these are my kids, and as always, they must come first.

There are only two relationships in life that you are stuck with. One is with yourself and one is with your children.

Motherhood is a really big deal. Man may fulfil many needs in a woman, but romantic love never comes remotely close to the range of emotions generated by motherhood.

Everyday matters, including the day job, get shelved the minute your kid needs you. And when you have three of them, it takes up 90% of your existence, even when you are at work. Free time with three kids?!!! You’ve got to be kidding! Photography in particular is tremendously difficult with little ones around. You try erotic nude modelling with a snotty two year old banging on the studio door yelling for her mummy.

When you become a mother, you have a completely new occupation, no matter what your supposed day-job may be. Those feelings that are generated inside you when you first fall in love with your new baby are mind-altering in intensity. Desperate and extreme adoration, tinged with panic, completely obsessive, and yet sensual in a way.
Love for your child is always freely given and asks for nothing in return. It is often irrational, but not possessive, because this small being never belongs to you, he or she is merely loaned to you for a while.

You can no longer contemplate life without this new dimension, and you realise that your previous childless existence was emotionally empty somehow. Something was missing, but you didn’t realise what, until you met this new little person in your life.

I’ve explained this badly, but to be truthful, emotions generated by motherhood are too contradictory and intense to accurately put into words.

As far as I can tell, these new feelings last forever.
Motherhood is the eternal preoccupation.
And nothing else comes close.




Holli B.

D.I.D.

I fundamentally object to D.I.D. pictures. (That’s “Damsel in Distress” for non-photography readers)

I looked at Moraxian’s fabulous photos, and I thought that I’d give it a whirl. But I found that I hated D.I.D. Not just the end result (the photograph), but the entire shoot too.

So if Rich wants to take a D.I.D. picture of another model, I will go out somewhere for a coffee. I don’t think I could be in the same building, let alone room. That’s a pretty bad reaction, no?

It’s not that I think Rich is getting a sexual kick out of this. I know he doesn’t. Plus I know the model is just acting, playing a game and telling a story. But it’s the story that really bothers me.
And yet I don’t object to bondage. Why?

Rich’s take is that bondage is about a woman voluntarily giving up control for sexual enjoyment. D.I.D. is about a persecuted maiden being captured, bound, gagged and subjugated, and needing a hero (man) to come along and rescue her.

I do get the fact that both bondage and D.I.D. are sexual fantasies. Models shoot bondage and D.I.D. for a) money b) art or c) because they want to explore the sexual fantasy of being bound in this way, without fear of repercussion, and without actually experiencing the act in "real life".

From my own personal point of view, I find bondage photography unthreatening. In most nude bondage imagery, the model is clearly enjoying herself. There’s no portrayal of fear or desperation, just sexual arousal.

But with D.I.D. the inner feminist in me is fighting back.

I object to D.I.D. images where the woman is clearly being subjugated. It’s all about power, specifically of the man.
Frankly I find the stereotype of a hero rescuing a beautiful maiden somewhat offensive on a taste level as well as a feminist level. Plus there’s something dark and predatory about the story of kidnapping. It’s about the subjugation of the victim and the power of the kidnapper, the glorification of the woman’s fear and desperation.
Which is the point of the image, I suppose.

But to me, it sends a message that my latent feminist rebels against. I’m a big believer in equality, and D.I.D. images are all about inequality. That’s why they make me really angry.

Clearly, I need to explore this further then……

Ageism

Candy is a staunch supporter of modeling whilst also being a feminist. Her excellent blog resolutely defends the principle that posing nude does not compromise the core principles of feminism.
I don't necessarily agree with everything she writes, but I certainly respect her point of view, and I understand completely why commentators on her blog sometimes make her so angry.

When people comment on your work, it is a very personal thing. It's true that you judge yourself by how others judge you. Note, I don't always post all of the comments that I get, and many are off-blog anyway.

Now because I'm an older model, and I don't shoot very much, I don't get many comments about my pictures. Nevertheless, I've had some nice comments over the last year or so, one of the nicest being from a (female) friend and fellow blogger yesterday:

"You are not a geriatric model. You are a beautiful, sexy goddess who happens to have children and a good job. The three are not mutually exclusive! Keep up the great, inspirational work!"

Aw. That's lovely. Thanks!

If only others could be so nice. I have received some true humdingers of comments about my work over the last year, all from other photographers:

"wow.....different.. "

"your version of coping with a mid life crisis....something you always wished you had done when you were younger, but for various reasons never got around to it"

"this model looks like she is dead"

"seriously deluded"

"the model looks like she is old but trying to hide it"

"....desperately trying to run the last lap now the bell has rung"
(I really like this. To be fair, it was superficially about other older models and only alluding to me, but I included it as I think it's very eloquent)

And my personal favorite:

"a raddled old slapper with desperation in her eyes. Now as grotesque as she is tragic"

Well, on the bright side, at least I haven't had any death threats yet !

Seriously though, ageism is rife in nude photography.
Not that all mature models get comments about them like these. I seriously doubt whether the stunning Iris has ever received any negative comments about her work. But this is not surprising as she works extremely hard to keep her amazing body, and she looks 20 years younger than she actually is. She has a fantastic physique that I'd love (but am way too lazy to train for).

Nude photographers mostly prefer to shoot young and beautiful models. Not all of them, but most. It is much easier to photograph beautiful, young, firm flesh; plus society in general is conditioned to find young, pretty (fertile) women more sexually attractive. And let's face it folks, young tits 'n' ass are a heck of a lot more pleasing on the eye than some haggard old mother-of-three who has been breastfeeding forever, had extensive head surgery and at least a further 12 operations (after which I stopped counting).

But there are a small core of models who keep going despite negative feedback. Some models who are disabled, disfigured, over-weight or old, who keep on shooting regardless because they believe they are creating Art. Because they do not subscribe to society's programming that only the young, firm, skinny and pert are beautiful. Because they believe in their own beauty, rather than what the general population thinks.

Although Rich mostly photographs young models, this is largely because they are easier to find and book. I know he'd love to photograph anyone, regardless of size, appearance or age. (And if he has an opinion other than this, well he certainly wouldn’t dare tell me!)

An interesting conclusion to this is to consider statistics.
Like most other blogs, we have a stat counter on our blog.
Several of my images are in the top 10 most viewed, and two in the top 5.
If people think I should quit modeling because I'm too old, then why on earth are my images amongst the most popular ? Morbid curiosity ?

If you are reading this, and are thinking "Oh God, why doesn't she just give up and retire gracefully", then I have one thing to say to you:

If you don't want to see me naked, why the hell do you keep coming back ?

The Wild Gene

As a model I believe that I should suffer for my Art. As I have said before, my taste in photography and Richard’s does differ somewhat.
I tend to be drawn towards more story-related images. Pictures that actually make you think, rather than, wow, those are lovely boobies (although the two aren’t necessarily mutually exclusive)

I am also the proud inheritant of a wild gene that runs through my family on my mother’s side. The gene means that those members of my family in which it appears, manifest wild tendencies. During the second world war, my mother boasted seven boyfriends at once! At once ? I could never cope with more than two at any one time without having a nervous breakdown. What amazing time-management skills she must have had!
My brother breaks and races wild horses for fun. My niece races Dodge Vipers and is addicted to any adrenaline rush that's going. And my nephew ended up with a career in the sex industry (and let’s just leave it there, shall we)

So my family background goes some way towards explaining why I took to nude modelling like a duck to water. Being a lawyer and accountant is about as tame as they come. Superficially, there's not much room for wildness in those career options (what accountants really get up to is a story for another day, and the subject of a future novel !)

However when I started with the nude modelling, at last I was having a heck of a lot of fun. The wild gene could express itself, and as time went on, I was increasingly drawn towards more challenging styles. By challenging, I don’t mean goth-type horror photography in which the model is drenched in fake-blood and tied to a crucifix (tacky, tacky, tacky). I mean modelling styles which are harder to do physically and mentally, especially when you’re a geriatric model like me.

I am talking about fantastic models like Iris Dassault, who has posted some amazing and challenging modelling styles. Or Cheeky Lee, who posted a beautiful image where she was in a stream (yikes, that must have been cold!)

I guess there’s a bit of a masochist in me somewhere, because I am definitely going down the route of feeding the wild gene. For example, my bondage pictures (most of which I haven't shown) were a big leap for a closet yummy-mummy like me. The image of me covered in mud and freezing water would definitely classify as suffering for my Art. The image of me in the snow (below) left me with ice burns on my back for days afterwards. Worth it for the Art ? Yep, you bet ! I actually felt like I’d really achieved something after that shoot.

And for me, unless you get the kick of having fed your creative craving, there’s no point in attempting Art.

When you finally “hit the spot”, taken the “killer image”, that one picture in a shoot where you just know that’s the keeper, only then can you create real Art.

Only then can you know that you’ve realised your inner potential.

And only then can your wild gene be satiated.

Feedback

Well, the underwhelming enthusiasm from you all regarding my first photographic exploration said it all.
As I said previously, I really should stay away from the camera.
Stick to writing – it’s what I’m good at, other than balance sheets, litigation and baking cakes, that is.

Not much happening photographically at the moment, but I’m enjoying all the blogs. Sometimes it’s very hard to read such great blogs and not give advice.
The nature of blogging is that if you read these blogs on a daily basis, you get to know people. The problem is, it can be a bit disconcerting when a lurker whom you’ve never met, occasionally makes a very insightful judgement as to your inner psyche.

(For those new to blogs, a “lurker” is the general term for folks to read the blogs for long periods of time, but don’t post. As opposed to a photographic lurker, but let’s not go there)

I do actually appreciate the several hundred hits per day. These seem to be regular readers. I just wish they’d post more. Don’t you know that we bloggers live for comments ? Doesn’t matter how bad or good they are.
Re my last post, for example, I was expecting lots of “dear God, no” and “don’t ever go near a camera again!”, but you’re all far too polite. Or horrified. Or both. In the end, your silence spoke volumes.

However, I am not often the restrained type, so I’m going to keep doing what I do best. Sticking my nose where it doesn’t belong, dispensing advice when no-one wants it, and generally being a big busybody and nuisance. If I hadn’t been a nude model, and wrecked my reputation, I would have been a judge (in a court, not a photographic one), so I’m used to passing judgement on others, getting overly personal, offending people and getting flamed in the process. Small wonder I don’t have many friends.

So this is building up to some general unwanted comments about you all. And if you all never speak to me again, I would be immsensely upset, so plesae don't take it in any way other than from an admiring lurker's point of view. So here goes.

Don: Love the blog, and panting to see more portraits courtesy of your new-fangled camera. But less bum-holes….pleeease. Even Angela’s. Doesn’t go well with my breakfast (which is when I read your blog). Toast and bum-holes are a definite no-no.

Melvin: At long bloody last you’re back. Where have you been ? Where can I see some of your new pictures ? At the moment the only place I can find them is on Candy's blog.

Chip: For the love of God, go get your eye sorted out, and don’t stop nagging the docs until you’re fixed. Your lurkers are extremely worried about you. Even photographic icons need to look after themselves, you know.

Candy: Great post. I mean, REALLY good. I totally get it about being tired of it all. I think you speak for the feelings of most models, to be honest. And our mothers aren't proud of us either. Goes with the territory.

Gary M: Why on earth haven't you married her yet ? We just don't understand it. We would greatly appreciate an invite to the wedding, BTW.

Jimmy D: Just tell her you’re crazy about her (I am assuming you’re single, right ? If not, then please excuse my major faux pas.) Am greatly enjoying the young lady’s influence on you and your work.

Iris: Don’t give up, please. The art world will be a lot emptier without your modelling.

Ulorin Vex: Our own dear UK's Kumi. If you ever feel like slumming it (i.e. no makup artists or hairdressers) do please consider shooting with us ordinary mortals.

Right, that’ll do for now.
And in return, you are very welcome to be equally candid and judgemental about me.
And I promise not to shoot any more nude piccies of my photographer, O.K.?



This is Roswell Ivory, looking curvy. Beautiful shot. Am jealous.

Do unto others

This is the 100th post.
If someone had told me in July last year that the Blog would last this long, I’d never have believed them.

As this is a special occasion, I thought we’d celebrate by approaching our photographic journey from a slightly different angle.

For a while I have been musing on the subject of fairness. Rich and I are very careful to always maintain equality in our relationship. This is not always achieved, mind you, but at least we try.

So I have been thinking about the subject of fairness in our photography. In particular, how could Rich ask models to pose nude if he hadn’t tried it himself?
So I decided to put the photographer in front of the camera for a shoot, and for once I would keep my clothes on!

After much muttering about how gross this was going to look, how much he needed to diet, and how this would REALLY put off potential models, I managed to bully him into it, using heavy handed blackmail tactics:
“Why not ? Are ya chicken?”
And that type of thing.
Plus several beers.

So, kudos to Rich for having the balls (!) to whip his kit off, all in the name of Art.
Not that this is Art, mind you.
It’s just me struggling to lift an incredibly heavy camera, whilst receiving a crash-course in how to operate a light meter and position the lights (very simply). Thanks to Rich for his guidance and patience!

Did we enjoy it ? Umm……Let’s just say it was an experience.

Since the shoot, he keeps muttering about how much he aches.

Revenge is sweet.

It’s raining today

And it’s quite cold. Done some chores, played “Supreme Commander” with the Boys and decided that I won’t be going for my LRPS this year.

An LRPS is a distinction grade from the Royal Photographic Society. To get one you have to submit 10 pictures arranged as a panel to their assessment panel, and if they deem that the work is photographically good, you get the distinction. The LRPS is the first distinction that you get.

Apparently if I submit an art-nude panel it would be the first they have had.

Now these photographs have to be mounted and presented as if at a gallery. They also have to be arranged into a complementary panel and the photographs have to ‘fit’ together. Thus in order to help facilitate this they have advisory panels that meet and where you take along your work and they help you select a panel from those photographs. Normally you should take along 15-20 photographs in order to get the final 10. So that’s 15-20 pictures of gallery quality mounted and ready for display.

There are two problems with this for me. The first is that there is only one advisory meeting on this side of the country this year and it’s in three weeks time. The second is that I’m doing 70 hour weeks on the day job. So, there is no way I’m going to get 20 pictures printed, and mounted to the required standard, before the panel meet. Thus, I’m not going to be able to go to the advisory panel, and there is no point in going for the ‘L’ until I’ve seen the advisory panel.

So for this year it is off.

Its not that I really need it as I’m not going Pro, but it would help with all those people who think that I’m just in it to see the boobies.

On top of this, I’m having a calibration issue between my new monitor and the prints I’m making. On the monitor I can see much more detail, yet on the print its too dark. If I proof the image in Photoshop with the printer profile its about what I get printed, but I really think that what I see on the screen should be what I get on the printer. I’m not sure which bit is wrong at the moment but I’m sure when I have some time to look at it I’ll find the cause.

This is the 99th post ! We'll have to think of something special for the next one.

This is Kate demonstrating how writing software can sometimes make you feel:

Code before Boobies

My photographer has transferred to an alternate universe. Disappeared. Been absorbed into the Matrix. He’s now done so much work that he is part man, part code. When I look over his shoulder at his computer screen, all I see are streams of code scrolling past, just like the green streaming code in the Matrix movie. He’s even dreaming in C++. Honestly.

Being of Transhumanist persuasion, he has often commented just how fast he could work if he did have a computer port in his head which would link his brain straight into the computer. No doubt we will see it at some point in our lifetime. Interesting implications for photography too.

Anyway, his zealous dedication to finishing the next version of our software has resulted in an argument. Whereas I commend his dedication to duty, I find it hard to believe that he’s putting code before photographing young and beautiful naked women.

We both agreed that I would largely “carry” the Blog and Fluffytek until after the software has been released. Unfortunately, due to problems integrating into the usual pox-ridden Microsoft code, it’s going to take longer than anticipated, resulting in even more hours worked (if that is actually possible) in order to meet our end-of-April deadline.
And if we don’t meet the end-of-April deadline ? Well, you remember the scene from the second Matrix movie where Neo fights thousands of Agent Smiths? Suffice to say that all those Agent Smiths pale into insignificance compared to the wrath of our customers.

To that end, I have had to cancel all bookings with models until at least the end of May. And that includes me too (by which time I’ll probably have comfort-ate myself into a massive blob and be completely unable to fit into my latex catsuit).
But I am even having to cancel those models who are approaching Rich for a shoot and insist on NOT being paid.
I never thought I’d see the day.

Of course, all the models are being incredibly understanding and professional, and no doubt they’ll be back later in the year. Rich has faithfully promised me that after the software is out, he’ll shoot models back to back (figuratively speaking) for several weeks. He’d better, all there will be hell to pay.

In the meantime I am running out of pictures to post. I know what some of you are going to say. Well Lin, why don’t you pick up the camera ? Take it from me, that would be a terrible idea. I have no concept of lighting or composure, and I’m honestly pretty hopeless at photography.

I suppose there are always his early pictures of me, but I’m soon going to get fed up with posting those (and you will too, believe me).
So there’s nothing else for it. I’ll have to post some of his “other pictures”. You know – gasp, shock, horror – non-nudes. Portraits, landscapes and so forth.

Yeesh. Times are hard.

And I must be the only wife I know of who has a row with her husband because he WON’T shoot nudes.



Diablo, our first male model, who had a very dry wit.