Cranky but back

Apologies for the absence (for those that actually noticed). A series of unfortunate events during the last couple of weeks resulted in “a bit of a hiccup”, shall we say. And rather than whinge about my battle with Count Olaf on the blog (Heaven forbid I should be labelled a whinger), I decided to take a week’s bloggie holiday and contemplate my hairy navel.

Once I failed to find my mojo at the bottom of a bottle of sauvignon blanc, I did what any sensible middle-aged female would do to cheer herself up, and shaved all my hair off. And I mean all. Well, I do have some eyebrows, and about an inch left on top of my head (if you’re lucky) but the rest of me has been waxed, exfoliated and moisturised to the level of softness only felt on the bottom cheeks of a newborn baby. (And let me tell you that those home Brazilian waxing kits are mean mother-F******* Not recommended unless you are drunk, feeling masochistic and don’t mind lots of blood).

Anyhoo, torturing myself wasn’t the only thing I did. I also rested, shot some dodgy photos (always immense fun) and chatted to friends (thanks to all for cheering me up, and for all your mega-nice comments). My gratitude to Rich for doing a great job on the blog all week – a resounding success as only two models cancelled as a result (he did rather well then!)

Here’s a recent picture of Pirate Maiden. I wasn’t there for the shoot (babysitting duties) but we planned it meticulously beforehand, and this was a gas-lift-chair pose I thought of and specifically asked Rich to do. No doubt it’s been done many times before, but if and when it has, I haven’t seen it, so it kinda felt like my idea.

It turned out pretty damn well we thought. So good I might even stick it on the wall. And I helped to create something artistic. Yee-hah!

Creating was a good feeling. Must remember to do it again some time….

Narrow depth of field portraits.

I wanted to try out a new arrangement of studio lighting and try shooting with only the modelling lights turned on, no strobes. This allows for a narrower depth of field as you have to shoot wide open.

I like narrow depth of field portraits as they draw your attention to the focal point of the image, which for a portrait should always be the eyes.

For this experiment I found a willing subject, Lin, Yay she’s back!

So here we go, Lin, shot using modelling lights.
For the gear junkies it was shot with a Canon EOS 5D, EF24-70mm f2.8L@58mm, ISO1600

My Muse has lost her Mojo!

Lin has lost her Mojo. I think it fell out of the car somewhere on the M32 near Bristol over the weekend and now she doesn’t know what to do with herself. Maybe it was the food in the Travel Lodge. But anyway, she’s feeling pee'd off with the photographic world. She won't blog, she doesn’t want to look at pictures and she doesn’t want to shoot.

What’s more we have been getting strange phone calls!

A Girl/Woman phoned last week and asked to speak to me, when Lin said I wasn’t here she hung up. Since then there have been several calls and a few seconds after Lin answers, the line goes dead.

This doesn’t help the Mojo problem. If it wasn’t for the fact that I spend every waking moment in front of the computer and every other moment that I go out usually escorted (small children usually), she might think I am having an affair.

Well, I’m not. But, it does lead us to wonder who it could be. They obviously know me. Currently we assume it’s a model who maybe thinks that Lin doesn’t know I shoot nudes. It’s unlikely though, as Lin usually handles the bookings, most of them read the blog, and any models we have booked would have the phone number.

So if you are the person that keeps phoning to talk to me, then please just tell Lin who you are, if I’m not here please leave a message for me to get back to you.

Just a thought though - is my talent so big and throbbing that I have a stalker that wants to throw their luscious body at me? Yea right, that must be it!



This is the lovely KateT

The rumours of our demise have been greatly exaggerated!

I’d like to say a big thank you to all our readers who took the time to email us and ask us if we had quit photography/blogging/business because our website had gone down. I can assure you that we haven’t.

What happened was that on the one weekend of the year that we went away, the DNS servers for our domain went down. The Internet, a place of magic and wonder where things only ever go wrong when you go away for the weekend! Not to worry I fixed them when I got back yesterday and things should now be back to normal.

Here is a picture of the beautiful Pirate Maiden just to make up for the disruption.

The Unfortunates

In a recent post (22nd September), the eloquent and gifted photographer, Mr Jimmy D, imparts his wisdom as to how to become a successful photographer. He says:

“If you seek more positive responses from viewers regarding your work as a pretty girl shooter, you'd do well to photograph models who stereotypically fit most people's perceptions of beauty. Simply put, the hotter the model the more wowed people will be by your photographs of them. Leastwise, it mostly works that way. I know this sounds like I'm saying beauty trumps craft when it comes to pretty girl shooting. (I suppose I am saying exactly that.) If you really want to wow people with your work, shoot the hottest possible….If you seek more positive responses from viewers regarding your work as a pretty girl shooter, you'd do well to photograph models who stereotypically fit most people's perceptions of beauty.”

Basically he seems to be arguing that if you wanna be a successful photographer, then you should shoot the hottest babes.

Good God. I can’t tell you just how offensive this post is, on so many different levels.

I mean, three weeks ago I was committed to marrying Jimmy (should my divorce ever go through) - he was my knight in shining armour, on a huge pedestal. In a single post, he hasn’t so much wobbled on the pedestal, but taken a huge dive off it, landing with a giant “splat” on the studio floor.

C’mon Jimmy, you can’t seriously believe that?

Leaving aside the issue of dwarves (read the post), which rendered me fuming for most of the day (ask Rich – the poor guy went through hell with my ranting), my dearest Jimmy appears to be saying, basically, you should shoot only babes, 18-25 years, long hair, slim, big boobies, pretty face (makeup-enhanced, naturally!) Shoot to society’s narrow perceptions of what is beautiful, desirable, and commercially saleable, and you stand a much more likely chance of fortune and glory. And he’s not just talking about glamour photography, but all nude photography (otherwise he wouldn’t have talked so much about dwarves.)

Jimmy is saying, basically, yes, this is just how it is. Sad but true. This is how society works. Live with it.

If this is true, well shit, why don’t I just give up on modelling now, crawl back into my hole, and forget about ever being a model? O.K. I’m realistic and I know I'm never going to be a glamour model. The harsh reality is that I am disabled, I am old (modelling wise), I am not beautiful, I definitely don’t conform to the stereotype. I am a middle aged mother, a modelling has-been. And do you know what? I think this makes me a more interesting photographic subject. I have met many girls who don’t conform to the stereotypical model. They are fat, or overly thin, or old, or young, saggy, disabled, facially disfigured, and yes, I used to have a friend who was a “dwarf” (oh how she hated that phrase) and she was as much a woman as your 18 year old babe. My (more correctly termed) “short-stature” friend was beautiful, physically as well as mentally, and she was a very sexual and erotic person. I’m damned sure that she would make a fantastic model.

We “unfortunates”, we “freaks”, are people too. And we can be good photographic subjects, as much as any “normal” surgically enhanced glamour model.

A good photographer will shoot everyone, not only shoot what is conventional or what society considers to be perfect. I have encountered several most excellent photographers who would gladly kill for the chance to photograph “the unfortunates”, and who would shoot them well, and be critically acclaimed for the art, make money, and who would empower their subjects as a result.

Read Bailey’s Democracy. And then tell me that “beauty trumps craft.”

It’s not all about the money. It’s about the photography and art. To all photographers, including amateurs, professionals and those in-between, I say to you:

Step outside the box. Shoot the unconventional models. Shoot ALL TYPES OF WOMEN.

Step outside your “groove”, your genre, photograph “REAL LIFE”. It might not fit with what the average man in the street wants, but guess what? It might make you a better photographer. And it’s a heck of a lot more likely to get you featured in The National Portrait Gallery. Plus it will leave you more satisfied with your art.

We DO live in a perfect world. One that values real beauty over illusion. If you believe otherwise, then you’re shooting for the wrong audience.



Syd, lookin’ fab!

P.S. Note to Jimmy: before you think I’m just just having a go at you, I’m most definitely not. This is an important and contentious issue, and all comments and discussions are very welcome!
I gave my dear friend Don a rather hard time about shootin' only young nekkid chix only a few weeks ago! And I would fully expect either of you to photograph me, and do a most excellent job too.

Rich BTW, is staying well out of this. He says he sees both sides! (Typical!)

Caution: Slobbery Wedding Post Alert!

“Sensual pleasure passes and vanishes in the twinkling of an eye, but the friendship between us, the mutual confidence, the delights of the heart, the enchantment of the soul, these things do not perish and can never be destroyed. I shall love you until I die.”
Voltaire

We’re off blog for a few days, going to the wedding of our oldest and dearest friend and his beautiful fiancée. You’ll know of them because they comment regularly on this blog. Gromit is a man of many talents, artist, musician, singer, psychologist, ecologist, designer, and most importantly, all-round amazing person and friend. Lady Tottington is his soul-mate - she’s one of the kindest people I know, and a passionate, caring and inspirational healer. If Voltaire’s wisdom reminds me of anyone, it reminds me of these two.

Congrats to you both!

Now, when are you both gonna come up here for a nude shoot?



Syd and A.J. looking mushy (but very sexy!)

The first ever picture of me nekkid

What?
Nekkid you say?
But you’re wearing a coat!?!

Well actually it was Rich’s short bomber jacket, and I wasn’t wearing anything else. At all.

It was the middle of the New Forest. It was autumn 1987 and we had been dating for about six months. I was nineteen. I had great breasts and very big "eighties hair." The sex was fabulous.

Dammit, we were on the road to rack and ruin even then.

Good memories…



This was shot…gasp…shock…horror…on film.

"A photograph only has value if it is printed in a darkroom!”

This is a view held by many photographers.

I disagree. A photograph is worth more than the paper it is printed on!

If that’s not the case, then all art is seriously overvalued.

However, there are some photographic elitists who don’t seem to agree with me. They claim that only a photograph which is printed using the wet process in a darkroom has any real value, and those who do not use this process are not “real photographers.”

So if you are one of those photographers who judges other photographers based on whether or not they print in a darkroom, then may I suggest you look at your portfolio and ask yourself, “Is my best photograph only worth the small cost of the paper that it is printed on?”

Do you look at an image on a website and say “Those images are worthless because they are electronic?” or look at an Avedon print book and say “Those are worthless because they are printed using a printers press?” Do you look at an acrylic painting and say “This is worthless because it’s not in oil?”, or look at a pencil drawing and say “This is worthless because it’s not in paint?”

In the realm of the fine arts it would be unthinkable to criticise an artist or to claim that something was worthless because of their chosen medium. So it logically follows that an image should be valued on its extrinsic value and the response it generates in the viewer, rather than the paper it is printed on.

Now I can hear the shout that the value in a darkroom print is in the time and skill of the photographer that created the print in the darkroom. But if this were true then your worst ever print would have the same value as your best ever print, simply because you spent the same time on them. Also it would mean that anyone skilled in chemistry but terrible at photography should receive the same adoration as you.

Clearly, it’s the image that counts. We should all forget about photographic elitism because its just another round of Canon vs Nikon, SLR vs Medium format, and my lens is bigger than yours bravado.

I print digital images on an Epson Pro 4880. It’s an A2+ printer. My prints are bigger than yours,

Nah-Nah Nee-Nah-Nah!

This is Syd, looking to give some attitude to anyone who disagrees with me...

Photography is not art

As you will all know by now, my two sons go to Hogwarts, which is a typical ye-olde-English grammar school, with hundreds of years of tradition blah, blah, blah, and a mighty fine standard of education in both the sciences and the arts. Or so we thought.

My oldest son is one of the brightest in his year at art. He’s really good. The school have said he should sit the art scholarship in January 2008, which is a tremendous honour, as only a selected few are allowed to attempt it.

If he gets it, he gets to wear a special flowing black robe with magical powers (kidding about the powers, but the robes are very real..…where do you think JK Rowling actually got the ideas for the Harry Potter series?) and varying special privileges such as their own common room with a shiny scholarship ping-pong table and a t.v. (which they can’t watch anyway because they will have too much homework), plus of course they get to be worshipped by all the girls (chix apparently deeply dig long flowing black robes – don’t ask me, apparently it’s a Dan Radcliffe thing…the movies have a lot to answer for). Oh and we get a discount on the school fees. (Seems inconsequential to him in comparison with said chix, but it’s rather important to us, as it means we wouldn’t have to sacrifice quite as many goats to send them there). To obtain this lofty prize, my son has to sit an exam, and he also has to submit a large portfolio of his work.

Don’t even get me started on the requirements for the art portfolio. Talk about pressure! Hogwarts want “proof that he spends the majority of his leisure time engaging in art", as opposed to playing computer games, which is actually his main leisure pursuit (at least until recently, because nowadays homework soaks up all available free time). The art portfolio is supposed to be made up of 50% of school art and 50% home art. If he’s doing 10-12 hours extra (at least) per week on school art stuff, as well as at least two or three hours homework every night, when exactly is he supposed to get this mysterious “leisure time”, to do the “leisure art” which makes up the missing 50% of his portfolio? Not to mention, when is the poor guy ever going to have any sort of life?

O.K. I thought, so why can’t his home portfolio partially be made up of his photographic stuff? The little chap is a fine photographer for his age (unsurprising, I know) and he can produce some decent artistic photography. So why not?

Well, it appears that the revered art teachers at Hogwarts do not like this idea. Apparently the very-highly-qualified Head of Art at Hogwarts (a cross between Sibyl Trelawny and Dolores Umbridge with an addiction to tea so strong, she keeps nipping out of class for a quick fix) does not consider photography to be an art-form, so “regrettably”, she says, he will not be able to include photographs in his portfolio.

Yes indeed, you read that correctly.

Photography is not art.

I am, of course, speechless.

If one of the best and most highly revered art teachers (supposedly) in the country, does not consider photography to be art, then what hope is there for future generations of young potential art photographers?



His first artistic challenge, according to the art teacher, is to draw a fine-art figure study of a black male. Or as my son put it, “Mum, it’s an ugly old naked guy. Can’t I draw a spaceship instead?”

Hmm….this scholarship may be doomed…

The Sweet Spot

“Every model has at least one pose which makes them look awesome, that one moment which makes that person look the best they could ever look. It is the job of the photographer to find that sweet spot, to create the unique photograph of that person which everyone would want to see, that one person’s true piece of art.”

Quote by our intrepid photographer Mr Fluffy, yesterday evening after rather too many hours on the day-job, followed by a few glasses of rather yummy Nobilo White Cloud wine.

When asked how he is regularly inspired to produce such profound photographic wisdom, our resident artist modesty replied, “Dunno really. It just pops into my head. Probably the wine.”

(This modest self-assessment is probably correct, as after three glasses practically anything seems fabulous, especially arty nonsense invented by one’s husband.)




Last weekend Rich had a shoot with one of the UK’s top art-nude models, Pirate Maiden. She was delightful of course, as was her hubby who chaperoned her, and Rich certainly shot some cool piccies, some of the best work he’s ever done, IMHO.

After the shoot was over, and we’d taken a first peek at the photos (which I thought were great), he collapsed exhausted into an armchair.

“I feel weird,” he said, rubbing his temple. “Very strange, I can’t describe it, but it really feels odd.”

“Ah,” I said, nodding wisely, “That’s the feeling of actually creating Art.”

(I’m still in the dog-house for that one.)

The Wife-Without-Camera

Because Richard does on average between sixty and seventy hours work every week, this generally means that I am the one who organises shoots, corresponds with models, sorts out travelling arrangement, fees (if any) and so forth. Actually, I really do enjoy this part of the photographic process. Chatting to other models is fun! Plus there is the added advantage that if I am the one who organises the bookings, because I am a woman and fellow model, this generally serves to reassure potential models that Rich is not some axe-murdering lunatic, nor that he is some perv who is solely interested in the cheap (or more usually, rather expensive) thrill of being alone with a naked woman.

I guess I see my role as a sort of photographic airline-stewardess in the background, dispensing occasional beverages, sandwiches and rather tasty home-made cake (I do good cake!), whilst being hopefully useful as an assistant if I’m needed. I’m not around for the actual shooting process for nude shoots (I’m sorry folks but it really is the most boring thing in the world to watch), so I tend to only be around for any fashion or wedding shoots, where I am needed to reposition clothes/hair and so forth.

Richard never hides the fact that Fluffytek is a partnership – we do this together. He is openly proud that we are a team, and insists I am around to say hello, drink tea and chat before the shoot. He says this helps put the model (and chaperone, if present) at ease, plus it makes the whole photographic process more fun!

The whole “shoot procedure” has become a well-oiled ritual nowadays, and models (and clients) have seemed to like this process and enjoyed/appreciated my occasional presence and low-profile assistance (and cake). At least I thought they did.

However, more recently there have been rumblings in the machine, and I no longer feel as certain about my role as I once did. Whereas it seems to be perfectly acceptable, reassuring and professional to have an assistant present during a shoot, this apparently does not extend to where the assistant is the photographer’s wife.

Whereas 95% of models are perfectly comfortable with wives being around, and suitably reassured for their own safety, some potential models seem to regard this as creepy, even somewhat “dodgy”. After talking to a couple of other photographers’ wives in similar situations (i.e. they are assistants and business partners), it seems that wives are increasingly being seen as “checking up” on the husband, making sure he doesn’t do anything untoward. Wives are (usually wrongly) being perceived as interfering jealous spouses, and it appears that some models feel awkward and nervous with the wife around, even if she’s in a completely separate building next door! Simply knowing the wives are there is enough to creep them out!

To some extent I can understand this. There have been several instances on MM and the UK web-models forums that describe a wife coming home in the middle of a shoot and throwing a jealous hippy fit. I have also heard some horrible stories on some model blogs which describe where the wife is clearly bisexual and is as much a WWC (Wife without camera) as her GWC husband (basically where husband and wife get their sexual kicks out of being in the same room as a nekkid chick). Of course these stories are really horrible and mercifully they don’t happen very often, but unfortunately these stories are giving the whole “wife as assistant” concept a really bad name. The minority are ruining it for the majority. A case of a few rare scare stories really spreading like wildfire and resulting in some models being apprehensive about booking photographers if their wives are around.

This means that some models actually prefer shoots where the wife doesn’t know about the husband’s photography, or at least if they do, that the wife isn't on the premises at the time of the shoot. We have experienced this rarely, but it has happened. It’s a kind of “pro-guy-with-camera” preference, a sort of bizarre twist of logic. GWC’s with secret agendas (who don’t tell their wives) actually make some models more comfortable than having to cope with possible internal psychological dynamics between H+W.

But, heck, this is supposed to be a semi-pro photography business! Assistants are supposed to be present. Why discriminate against the assistant where she is a wife? Should Richard now only introduce me as an assistant rather than his wife, and should I now leave my wedding ring at home? Should I stay clear altogether, and just go out when he has a shoot?

Sometimes I feel like a creep by association.

Let me state this plainly: I do not have a hidden agenda, I do not get cheap thrills from Rich shooting with models, plus I trust my partner! I enjoy a cuppa, a chat, feeling part of the photographic process. I love the whole process of making art. There’s no jealousy here folks! I’m a nude model too you know!

I’ve been in my day-job business with my husband for nearly fifteen years now, and I can honestly say we work pretty well together as a team. We are certainly well experienced at separating business from pleasure, and we are both trained professionals. O.K. I am a wife, yes, but I can’t help that. I see this as an asset which helps enhance the process of making art, rather than a liability which ruins it.

How can a wife be seen as a professional, rather than a jealous spouse?




Syd and A.J. from a shoot earlier this week. This was a really fun shoot with a gorgeous and talented husband and wife team. They were really good models! Both Rich and I love this image! Such chemistry! Rich says this is the shoot he’s most enjoyed so far this year. Thanks guys! More please!

Photographic Catharsis

Before I started modelling, I felt about as attractive as the Hunchback of Notre Dame. As many of you know, I have completed the herculean task of twelve years of breastfeeding, which doesn't leave you with the pertest mammaries in the world. I have also had brain cancer, which caused facial paralysis, and I’ve had approximately twelve operations in my life (I stopped counting a while ago). All in all, life has left me battle-scarred and with an extremely low self esteem. Two years ago, I used to hide from everyone if I could, and I rarely went out.

The Docs don’t offer you psychiatric counselling for facial disfigurement in this country, or at least they didn’t seven years ago after my brain tumour operation. My neurosurgeon said “You’re lucky to be alive” and that’s about it. This is supposed to be enough for you. Being atttractive isn’t supposed to be part of the equation.

I have known many other women and men with facial disfigurement caused by brain tumours, whose partners left them as a result of the operation. They simply weren’t beautiful enough. And of course there is the immense psychological scarring that goes with that sort of life trauma, plus all the other physical and mental side effects which I won’t bore you with here (mainly fatigue, mood swings and so forth). Living with a person who has had cancer is challenging to say the least. I am honoured that my partner is still with me, and I am particularly lucky that he chose to take up photography and pick me as his main model.



When Rich first started photographing figure studies, I felt understandably threatened. Feeling like the ugliest woman on the planet made it especially hard when meeting these pretty young models. Initially I felt confused, inadequate, old and ugly. I thought Rich was shooting these women because he found me unattractive and a burden, and he wanted to shoot perfect youth and beauty for a change. I thought I was merely a duty to him, and that he was looking for a real life elsewhere.

And then I realised, over the next year, that in fact he saw me as beautiful and sexy as these gorgeous nineteen year old models. Because I watched him, talked to him, because of what we shared, I gradually learned to see myself through his eyes. Because he photographed me in exactly the same way as those younger women, because he told me how beautiful I was, told me I was a better model than some of them, because he encouraged me to meet and shoot with others (and they in turn didn’t treat me like a freak, just as a normal model when I met them), something amazing happened.

Over time I started to heal. Not physically of course, but psychologically. I felt beautiful again. I learned to hold my head up high and celebrate life. To non-photographic members of the public who continued to react like I was a circus freak, I finally understood how they felt, and I realised that they were not being deliberately cruel, but they were just frightened of the same thing happening to them. They were just scared.

A talented photographer will capture a person’s essence rather than merely a body. He will be interested in the person inside the body. It is the mind that makes the body beautiful. When someone takes their clothes off, they remove everything they hide behind. All the fashionista style and makeup is gone. You are just left with the real person, who often feels psychologically exposed because he or she no longer has a mask to hide behind.

In the hands of a talented and sensitive photographer, this exposure of the raw psyche through the use of nude photography can be used as a healing process. A nude photography session can be very therapeutic, and can massively increase your self-worth. It's a way of purging things inside of you, and helping you find your inner strength.

Finding the courage to make an exhibit of yourself in front of the camera in a safe environment really emphasises your self-awareness and is a liberating experience. The shoot itself and the way you are treated by the photographer is just as important as the finished images, maybe more so.

This type of therapeutic photography helps deal with negative body image, body issues, low self-esteem and lack in self-confidence. Used correctly, it is a healing practice, a way of learning to love yourself and recognise yourself as really beautiful, not despite all your flaws, but because of them.

Today I am happy

The kids started back at Hogwarts yesterday. It was my middle son’s first day. He was very nervous. I was also very worried – typical mother, I always worry about everything. But my sons both came out of school completely radiant. They had fun. Even though they had prep (homework), nevertheless the teachers were kind, the lessons were interesting, and they got to do things they wouldn’t do at a standard non-Hogwarts school. Like ping pong!

Ping pong is very big in our house. Whenever we get stressed, the family gets together and plays table tennis. I admit my focus gets a bit fuzzy after a couple of glasses of chardonnay, but nevertheless, it is a lot of fun, and the inter-marital ping-pong championships are getting really competitive and mean. Rich is the master of trickery, illusion and spin, and I like to smash low and fast, cutting very close to the line. Ping-pong = life. Our natures are the same.

Funny how divine happiness depends on the small things in life, like breaking off from horrid customer emails for ten minutes frantic ping-pong, or like when your daughter tells you she loves you twenty times a day. So despite a horrendous day-job workload, I skived off today and ran away to a local adventure-farm with my daughter. She played on the trampoline and climbing frames for ages, we chatted, we played, I drank too much coffee and avoided real life for a while.

On the photographic front, we have several shoots this week (which is unusual – why is it all shoots happen at once?), and thus blogging will be sporadic. I am also thinking very hard about this blog. I have plenty to blog about, all frighteningly controversial. I have written the posts, but am hesitating to post them. It may be how I feel, but my inner thoughts aren’t always suitable for a model and customer friendly blog. I don’t want the models to cancel en masse. So you could say that Richard’s art and mine are incompatible at the moment. Dodgy content doesn’t sit well with tasteful photography. And, did I mention that the models would cancel? Kinda limits the art, if you know what I mean.

Righty ho, it’s evening here and it’s time for a violet scented bubble bath, I’m big on bubble baths of varying scents (chocolate is also divine), usually whilst reading heavy science articles about Life Extension. There’s nothing like reading about cute furry mitochondria to get you going, especially when nice smelly bubbles are bursting around your nether regions. Try it. You’ll like it.

Science is sexy, and if you think otherwise, then clearly you haven’t had incredible mind-blowing late night conversations about quantum physics (and subsequent deep physical exploration of those theories) with the right scientist yet. Recommended.

Life is good.



Rachel T, taken last month.

ArtNudes.blogspot.com

Michael Barnes, the delightful chap who runs the famous Artnudes.blogspot.com has been through absolute hell with Google recently.

Firstly the poor guy had some member of the public complain about his site, resulting in Google putting up a page whereby visitors are warned about the content being possibly objectionable. All visitors now have to click on the “I wish to continue” button before they can view the blog. Then the mighty Google de-listed it completely. As a result, all of the hits disappeared.

Although Google appear to have re-indexed it for the time being at least, this cannot have been the most pleasant of experiences. Our day-job web site has been de-listed on Google occasionally due to screw ups by the Google-bots or changes in the spider algorithms. To say it was stressful would be something of an understatement. At the time. complaining to Google about the incident merely resulted in a stony silence.

After a traumatic few weeks, Michael has, quite understandably, been thinking about quitting the blog, after five years of dedication and effort. Please visit his blog, urge him to continue, and if anyone has any technical suggestions on how to get rid of that pesky content warning, please let him know. If the warning page remains, visitors to his site will be down substantially, as people will incorrectly think that such warnings indicate offensive content (i.e. porn).

All because of one prude, somewhere on the internet, who has a hang-up about nudity. This twerp, whoever he or she may be, has thus deprived thousands of people of one of the best collections of fine-art in the world. As Dilbert said "Since when did ignorance become a point of view?"

May I very strongly urge all fellow bloggers, and any readers who love Michael's site, to publicise this incident to the fullest extent, and bump up the ArtNudes.blogspot.com link to the top of their side-bar. This will show support for Michael, plus hopefully push his links and hits up.

And before you think, "Mmm, nice idea, I'll do that later" and then never get around to it, just remember, it could easily be any one of us next.



Claire-Louisa.

Product advice

"Dear Fluffytek Manufacturing Inc,

I’m writing to you for advice regarding the Muse I recently obtained from you.

Recently I was suffering from a lack of inspiration when my Muse suggested that we try something a little different. This led to us trying a variety of enclosed spaces in the search for a new photographic perspective.

However, as we progressed to smaller and smaller spaces we ran into a little problem. I managed to cram my Muse into a small square metal box roughly 18” square and have been unable to extract my Muse from said box for several days. She is now getting cranky and I must admit that this is impacting my inspiration considerably.

Would it be possible for you to supply a replacement Muse and arrange for the collection and disposal of this one, as I fear that the Muse will no longer operate correctly for me if and when you are able to extract her successfully from the box?

At the present time, the Muse is getting more and more upset and your urgent attention would be appreciated.

Yours

Bob"

---

Dear Bob,

Thank you for your email regarding your current Muse issues.

You do appear to have quite a serious problem and I’m afraid that, as you suggested, your Muse will most likely never be the same again.

However, having placed your Muse in a container which would appear to be too small for even the most petite of Muses, you have thus invalidated your warranty and we will not be able to offer you a free replacement Muse.

Furthermore, we have a legal obligation to inform the RSPAM (Royal Society for the Protection of Artistic Muses) regarding this matter. Their rules regarding cruelty to Muses are very clear and placing Muses in small confined spaces for extended periods of time is a serious criminal offence, punishable by imprisonment. Of course, if your Muse model were the “Fetish/Bondage/Contortion” model this would not be the case. However, our records show that you opted for the standard model with enlarged D cup accessories, and thus the authorities have been informed of your actions.

I would imagine you have a few hours in which to try to extract the Muse before the RSPAM arrive, so I would suggest that you spend this time with your Muse attempting to extract her from the container. A tin opener may help.

I would like to thank you for your previous custom and would like to remind you that returning customers are eligible for a 20% discount on repeat orders, should you ever be released from jail.

All the best

support@fluffytek.com

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Lynx - being very muse like.