I resolve....
Rich’s new year resolution is to lose weight. Again.
As with most people, this is likely to fall by the wayside within the first few weeks of January, especially since our middle son has resolved for the New Year to improve his cake-baking ability (wannabe trainee chef.) I predict that Rich is doomed to failure within a very short time-span.
Making promises to yourself to change is a good thing of course. It’s great to want to improve yourself, to be a better person. But more often than not, these resolutions fail.
Why?
Because we make unrealistic expectations of ourselves. We aspire to dreams that are well beyond our capabilities. We are perfectionists. We dare to dream, but when reality bites, we blame ourselves.
Big-scale change involves deprivation, suffering, adapting to a new regime. And most importantly it involves changing your daily habits. It’s the habit-changing that is the most difficult thing. Humans are animals of routine. On the whole, we dislike change. It’s scary and unpleasant. Unless you have a will of steel, or there’s a gun to your head, then changing your daily habits is going to be extremely difficult and very unlikely to succeed.
And yet…we continue to make resolutions. We are eternal optimists. We believe we can do it. High hopes are hard to give up, which is why we repeat the same old resolutions year after year. We set ourselves up for failure, for the guilt trip. And for what?
You’ll note that older folks don’t bother to make New Year Resolutions any more. With age comes wisdom, and older people have either achieved ultimate perfection already, or they have realised that beating themselves up for constantly falling short of their expectations, simply doesn’t work and isn’t worth the energy.
My suggestion? Don't make any new year's resolutions at all. If you want to change, just do it. Doesn’t matter what day of the year it is. Just stop smoking, don’t drink so much, stop pigging out on the wrong food and lose that weight. But follow your dream in a way that works for you. Be real. Realise your limitations, and take it slowly. Set yourself short term goals, change your habits gradually. Get support from your friends and family.
And if life gets in the way, and you screw up and you can’t keep to your resolutions at all, then do not under any circumstances beat yourself up about it. Forgive yourself. You are not a failure. It just means that your original resolutions were a little over-optimistic. Or maybe the time just wasn’t right to follow that particular dream now. This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try that dream again some day. It just means that you should keep your feet firmly on the ground whilst doing it.
Lilmummy, taken last year. I resolve for Rich to shoot more nudes than last year...it IS O.K. to make resolutions on behalf of your partner, right?
As with most people, this is likely to fall by the wayside within the first few weeks of January, especially since our middle son has resolved for the New Year to improve his cake-baking ability (wannabe trainee chef.) I predict that Rich is doomed to failure within a very short time-span.
Making promises to yourself to change is a good thing of course. It’s great to want to improve yourself, to be a better person. But more often than not, these resolutions fail.
Why?
Because we make unrealistic expectations of ourselves. We aspire to dreams that are well beyond our capabilities. We are perfectionists. We dare to dream, but when reality bites, we blame ourselves.
Big-scale change involves deprivation, suffering, adapting to a new regime. And most importantly it involves changing your daily habits. It’s the habit-changing that is the most difficult thing. Humans are animals of routine. On the whole, we dislike change. It’s scary and unpleasant. Unless you have a will of steel, or there’s a gun to your head, then changing your daily habits is going to be extremely difficult and very unlikely to succeed.
And yet…we continue to make resolutions. We are eternal optimists. We believe we can do it. High hopes are hard to give up, which is why we repeat the same old resolutions year after year. We set ourselves up for failure, for the guilt trip. And for what?
You’ll note that older folks don’t bother to make New Year Resolutions any more. With age comes wisdom, and older people have either achieved ultimate perfection already, or they have realised that beating themselves up for constantly falling short of their expectations, simply doesn’t work and isn’t worth the energy.
My suggestion? Don't make any new year's resolutions at all. If you want to change, just do it. Doesn’t matter what day of the year it is. Just stop smoking, don’t drink so much, stop pigging out on the wrong food and lose that weight. But follow your dream in a way that works for you. Be real. Realise your limitations, and take it slowly. Set yourself short term goals, change your habits gradually. Get support from your friends and family.
And if life gets in the way, and you screw up and you can’t keep to your resolutions at all, then do not under any circumstances beat yourself up about it. Forgive yourself. You are not a failure. It just means that your original resolutions were a little over-optimistic. Or maybe the time just wasn’t right to follow that particular dream now. This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try that dream again some day. It just means that you should keep your feet firmly on the ground whilst doing it.
Lilmummy, taken last year. I resolve for Rich to shoot more nudes than last year...it IS O.K. to make resolutions on behalf of your partner, right?
Labels: Lilmummy, Philosophy
posted by Lin at 7:48 PM
2 Comments:
It is, Lin, as long as Richard shows the photos to us!
Happy new year.
Darc-- er, uh, Dave
Happy New Year!!
And I completely agree with you on New Years resolutions..
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