Hurrah! It’s Valentine’s Day!

What? You mean you didn’t remember to get your other half something extra special today???

Boy, are you in trouble. BIG time.

It doesn’t matter if you believe Valentine’s Day is commercialised rubbish (we all know it is.) It doesn’t matter if your lovely understanding lady says she doesn’t want anything for Valentine’s Day and that you, her gorgeous partner, are quite enough. These are just words. If, in fact, you do take her at her word and forget all about it, then I’m betting large sums of money that she’ll give you a hug and a kiss, say it’s quite all right and she really doesn’t believe in all that nonsense, and then she’ll quietly make your life living hell for the next few months. And you won’t know why.

Valentine’s Day is probably THE most dangerous day in the romance calendar. Emotional and social politics at their worst. A small crack in a relationship can turn into a bottomless pit when huge expectations of the perfect love token are dashed by the appearance of a bedraggled bouquet of flowers from the local garage, or even worse, a tacky card. Forgetting altogether, or re-gifting a box of chocolates is relationship-ending Armageddon. You just can’t win.

It’s a shame that people feel such enormous pressure about this one day. Of course, the fault can be placed squarely at the door of the card and tacky gift manufacturers, and the media must take some blame too, but that doesn’t change the fact that for most people, Valentine’s Day is an emotional minefield. The expectations that society has drummed into us are so huge, that it’s inevitable that there’s going to be a let-down. If people feel disappointed or angry because of what they see as one inadequate gesture on that day, then it’s often assumed (rightly or wrongly) that something is at fault with their relationship.

Modern Western custom dictates that in a conventional heterosexual relationship, the main love token is traditionally gifted from the man to the woman. It is further assumed by women that their partner should know without being told exactly what they want for Valentine’s Day, and if their partner gets it wrong, then this is obviously because they don’t care enough.

Of course this is completely untrue. Men are not mind-readers, and they need a bit of a helping hand. Also men often have a hard time trying to convey an emotional sentiment via a piece of card (they quite rightly see it is pointless – the love of their life already knows he loves her, why the hell should a card make any difference?) So they often buy the first cheap card that that looks the best and says something about “everlasting love.” And then the poor chaps have to decide how to sign it. Women read a great deal into the man’s salutation, the phrases, With Love, Love, Forever Yours, are given obsessive consideration. You better get it right boyo, otherwise your lady love will probably take that romantic Valentine’s meal she lovingly cooked and donate it to the dog. And don’t even get me started on the overpriced flowers for Valentine’s Day. For heaven’s sake, why??? They are flown halfway across the world, at vast expense to the environment and your wallet, only to be stuck in a pot, and they’ll be dead within a week. What a waste.

Yes, It’s true. I am the most unromantic female ever to grace the planet. I just don’t get the point of it all. Rich shows me he loves me by his everyday actions, by his kindness and his caring. I don’t need a card or flowers or a particular day of the year to tell me how he feels. I can see it in his face every single day.

But assuming that mankind should celebrate Valentine’s Day, (after all it’s not going away, no matter how much we wish it would), then why not use it as a day to take a moment to really appreciate each other? Rather than focussing on the correct romantic gestures or lack of them, lovers should use February 14th as the starting point for putting new “oomph” into a romance.

Make Valentine’s Day the start of taking steps to rescue or revive a relationship that may be drowning under the responsibilities of work, families and sheer grinding exhaustion. Forget about the buying of “stuff.” Love isn’t something you buy. You can’t put a price on devotion.

Instead of wasting money on commercial pap, why not take a few hours out to actually TALK to each other? You know….communicate. Touch base. Appreciate your partner for who they really are. Look, really LOOK beneath the surface of your partner. Recognise how much they do for you. Realise through their actions just how much they care.

You both love each other. You know you do.

Now…do you really need to feed the card and gift industry in order to prove that?



Syd and A.J. looking slushy.

Late Edit: Rich has just handed me the most gorgeous romantic card….oh God, the guilt, the guilt…