Another week off blogging
More parentheses abuse. (Poor little brackets.)
Yet another week when I didn’t write anything profound or useful. Oh don’t get me wrong, I’ve been writing aplenty. It’s been half term here, and my sons have been at home. The oldest is revising for his entrance exams to senior school, and my other son has been given an exceedingly long and torturous English project on the topic of his choice, which I am apparently required to assist with.
My younger son chose the topic of Mario for his project, comprising the history of Mario, the origins of Mario, life’s profound meaning of Mario, the symbolism in Mario, the inside leg measurement of Mario and so forth. I don't play computer games at all, but I sure know a lot about Mario now. (I really despise the little critter - he ruined my week.)
When I’ve not been engaged in teaching English to a rebellious, stressed-out nine year old or doing tax (zzzz...) I’ve been (in no particular order) : baking birthday cakes for the boys whose birthdays are within 4 days of each other (I only conceive at one time of year, but let’s not go there), wrapping presents, cleaning up decapitated furless mice skulls (my cats have been on a mammoth hunting bender this week), lamenting my loss of hair (it’s falling out bigtime - at this rate I will be doing an Orixx shortly, only I’m twenty years older and thus I won’t look remotely as pretty) and generally trying to stay upright (vertigo rules - not alcohol induced unfortunately.)
Am staying away from the camera, due to very strong resemblance to aforesaid decapitated furless mouse skull (I fear I may crack the lens) and the only thing Rich can photograph that won’t make you (or him) throw up, is my ass.
So here it is, my ass, I mean. That’s my peony too. Pretty flower, huh? I had to literally glue it to my ass to make it stick. All in the name of Art, of course. Double sided sticky tape really chafes when you rip it off, let me tell you that. Still, it saves money on a Brazilian wax I guess. Yes this photograph is HIGH ART. No I don’t care if you think it is cheap, trite, tacky porn. I really, truly DO NOT care. My ass is my Art. Live with it. (Did I mention that I’ve also metamorphasized into a raving loon this week?)
Anyhoo, if you haven’t left the blog in complete disgust yet, I promise I’ll be back to writing more interesting and profound stuff next week.
(BTW, I have a crush on Paul Strand, notwithstanding the fact that he has shuttled off the mortal coil. Cool photography…way cool. He'd hate my peony, I just know it.)
Yet another week when I didn’t write anything profound or useful. Oh don’t get me wrong, I’ve been writing aplenty. It’s been half term here, and my sons have been at home. The oldest is revising for his entrance exams to senior school, and my other son has been given an exceedingly long and torturous English project on the topic of his choice, which I am apparently required to assist with.
My younger son chose the topic of Mario for his project, comprising the history of Mario, the origins of Mario, life’s profound meaning of Mario, the symbolism in Mario, the inside leg measurement of Mario and so forth. I don't play computer games at all, but I sure know a lot about Mario now. (I really despise the little critter - he ruined my week.)
When I’ve not been engaged in teaching English to a rebellious, stressed-out nine year old or doing tax (zzzz...) I’ve been (in no particular order) : baking birthday cakes for the boys whose birthdays are within 4 days of each other (I only conceive at one time of year, but let’s not go there), wrapping presents, cleaning up decapitated furless mice skulls (my cats have been on a mammoth hunting bender this week), lamenting my loss of hair (it’s falling out bigtime - at this rate I will be doing an Orixx shortly, only I’m twenty years older and thus I won’t look remotely as pretty) and generally trying to stay upright (vertigo rules - not alcohol induced unfortunately.)
Am staying away from the camera, due to very strong resemblance to aforesaid decapitated furless mouse skull (I fear I may crack the lens) and the only thing Rich can photograph that won’t make you (or him) throw up, is my ass.
So here it is, my ass, I mean. That’s my peony too. Pretty flower, huh? I had to literally glue it to my ass to make it stick. All in the name of Art, of course. Double sided sticky tape really chafes when you rip it off, let me tell you that. Still, it saves money on a Brazilian wax I guess. Yes this photograph is HIGH ART. No I don’t care if you think it is cheap, trite, tacky porn. I really, truly DO NOT care. My ass is my Art. Live with it. (Did I mention that I’ve also metamorphasized into a raving loon this week?)
Anyhoo, if you haven’t left the blog in complete disgust yet, I promise I’ll be back to writing more interesting and profound stuff next week.
(BTW, I have a crush on Paul Strand, notwithstanding the fact that he has shuttled off the mortal coil. Cool photography…way cool. He'd hate my peony, I just know it.)
posted by Lin at 6:30 PM
7 Comments:
Just for the record I would like everyone to know that I was coerced into the selective colour treatment, and thus disavow all responsibility for this image.
It could have been worse, he could have wanted to write about Fabio.
Love the photo (and the color...er colour treatment too). Was a little disappointed in the tape part though, I looked at it and thought of a decidedly more low tech method of positioning.....of course then it might not be the art piece it most certainly is.
Eat lots of bidet cake and you will definitely feel better about the world. and then get back in front of the camera, or front in front of the camera.
Thanks for the innovative suggestion George. We did....erm...try the more obvious solution to fix the peony in place. However I can truthfully report that one's asshole is no place at all for peony sap. It burns! It burns!
more, please.
I like this photo....very very nice. I tried this once with a rose...stupid me. The stem inserted and held said rose in place (no tape)..kinda forgot there were thorns. So much for that model. She said I was a "prick" to work with.
bt
I've had model do it with a chain, but not with a flower. Nice pic (but my sympathies to Richard as to coercion in the color treatment); oh, and speaking from the far side of experience helping offspring with homework, eventually not only does it end, but said child outstrips the parent in some respect or another (math ability, artistic ability, quality of writing, etc.). Don't make a big deal of their being better than you, however; when I beat my dad at chess, I essentially stopped playing the game.
When teaching English, one should always stick a peony in one's bum. I know this from teaching English to other people's offspring since 1979. There were times, of course, the peony belonged up someone else's arse.
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