Rock Bottom
A strong language, big smelly-ass post. You have been suitably cautioned.
It’s been a heck of a couple of months. It’s been our busiest time of year, accounting-wise and I’ve been swamped with finance, tax and working fifteen hour days for the last ten weeks or so. Combine this with trying to blog several times a week, continual professional development (accounting/legal lectures and studying), looking after the family, keeping house plus fallout from the full force of Duke Nukem’s mighty ray-gun, and there’s only one result. Burnout.
The docs ordered me to rest. I didn’t make time to follow their orders (I’ve always been a terrible patient.) Now I’m suffering the consequences.
I’ve been to the delightful location of Rock Bottom before, and I can tell you that it's actually rather a fabulous place to be. Very picturesque, rather quiet, and once you’re there, life suddenly becomes very black and white. All the crap falls away, and there’s nothing left except you and the choices you make.
Too much tax maketh a zombie
But let’s talk about my little photographic world for a moment.
Photographically I’ve not been enjoying myself as much as I should have been. In particular I’ve been trying to follow all the blogs, largely because the Annual Golden Fluffies dictate that we try to regularly read as many nude blogs as possible so that we can fairly assess the best ones out there.
The trouble is that over the course of the last six months, there have been absolutely tons of new blogs springing up. Starting a blog now appears to be a de facto requirement for photographers and models alike. Wannabe a recognised art photographer or model? Start a blog! It’s part of the mandatory marketing package nowadays. And whereas I really applaud the expansion of the art blog community, and I love the fact that it’s growing so fast, it’s simply just not possible for me to keep track of them all on a regular basis. I now read so many, that they are detracting from my main love (actual photographs) and I am in danger of finding the photographic blogosphere...not fun.
So…in that sudden moment of clarity that results from exploring one’s Bottom, I have resolved (in no particular order) to:
1. Stop working so hard. I am switching to strictly working part-time, starting immediately (and since my boss reads this blog he can take this as notice of my reduction in hours!)
2. I am going to let the sodding housework go a bit. Not doing the dusting for three weeks won’t result in the total destruction of life as we know it, and I’m not fucking Superwoman. It can bloody well just stay dusty.
3. I am going to stop reading blogs that stress me out, both economic and photographic. Please believe me that this is nothing personal regarding any of you wonderful bloggers out there, but it’s time my bloggie world contracted rather a lot, for the sake of my own sanity if nothing else. You can safely assume that if I comment on your blog, it’s because you make me happy.
4. I will be reading more of the type of books I love (yes, that means more on the whys of photography I'm afraid, these books are my therapy) and writing more about the the photographic stuff that interests me, even if it's not popular and no-one reads it.
5. I am damn well going to photograph my cat. Oh yes I am, and I am going to try to do it well. (Note: Have tried multiple shoots already, but the model has proved flaky and uncooperative.)
6. Most importantly, I am going to play more. With my family of course, with my friends (both photographic and non-photographic, online and offline, they are incredibly supportive and I am very lucky to have them) and most importantly, with Mr Fluffy.
Full of hot air and not much else
So here’s to arriving at my bottom. Now the only way is up.
It’s been a heck of a couple of months. It’s been our busiest time of year, accounting-wise and I’ve been swamped with finance, tax and working fifteen hour days for the last ten weeks or so. Combine this with trying to blog several times a week, continual professional development (accounting/legal lectures and studying), looking after the family, keeping house plus fallout from the full force of Duke Nukem’s mighty ray-gun, and there’s only one result. Burnout.
The docs ordered me to rest. I didn’t make time to follow their orders (I’ve always been a terrible patient.) Now I’m suffering the consequences.
I’ve been to the delightful location of Rock Bottom before, and I can tell you that it's actually rather a fabulous place to be. Very picturesque, rather quiet, and once you’re there, life suddenly becomes very black and white. All the crap falls away, and there’s nothing left except you and the choices you make.
Too much tax maketh a zombie
But let’s talk about my little photographic world for a moment.
Photographically I’ve not been enjoying myself as much as I should have been. In particular I’ve been trying to follow all the blogs, largely because the Annual Golden Fluffies dictate that we try to regularly read as many nude blogs as possible so that we can fairly assess the best ones out there.
The trouble is that over the course of the last six months, there have been absolutely tons of new blogs springing up. Starting a blog now appears to be a de facto requirement for photographers and models alike. Wannabe a recognised art photographer or model? Start a blog! It’s part of the mandatory marketing package nowadays. And whereas I really applaud the expansion of the art blog community, and I love the fact that it’s growing so fast, it’s simply just not possible for me to keep track of them all on a regular basis. I now read so many, that they are detracting from my main love (actual photographs) and I am in danger of finding the photographic blogosphere...not fun.
So…in that sudden moment of clarity that results from exploring one’s Bottom, I have resolved (in no particular order) to:
1. Stop working so hard. I am switching to strictly working part-time, starting immediately (and since my boss reads this blog he can take this as notice of my reduction in hours!)
2. I am going to let the sodding housework go a bit. Not doing the dusting for three weeks won’t result in the total destruction of life as we know it, and I’m not fucking Superwoman. It can bloody well just stay dusty.
3. I am going to stop reading blogs that stress me out, both economic and photographic. Please believe me that this is nothing personal regarding any of you wonderful bloggers out there, but it’s time my bloggie world contracted rather a lot, for the sake of my own sanity if nothing else. You can safely assume that if I comment on your blog, it’s because you make me happy.
4. I will be reading more of the type of books I love (yes, that means more on the whys of photography I'm afraid, these books are my therapy) and writing more about the the photographic stuff that interests me, even if it's not popular and no-one reads it.
5. I am damn well going to photograph my cat. Oh yes I am, and I am going to try to do it well. (Note: Have tried multiple shoots already, but the model has proved flaky and uncooperative.)
6. Most importantly, I am going to play more. With my family of course, with my friends (both photographic and non-photographic, online and offline, they are incredibly supportive and I am very lucky to have them) and most importantly, with Mr Fluffy.
Full of hot air and not much else
So here’s to arriving at my bottom. Now the only way is up.
posted by Lin at 10:56 AM
8 Comments:
I've noticed my own posts taking a somewhat darker turn of late, so hope I'm not one of the ones who's stressing you. In any case, sounds like a sound recipe for recovering equilibrium, which we all need.
Love the photo -- have in mind some "bottom photography" myself soon (someone else's, not my own), so it's an inspiration.
Yes, I hit my first "bottom" almost 8 years ago exactly. I know well of what you speak, though all your challenges combined, are vastly greater then mine were. But as you said.. the really good part I've learned from being there many times since... is there's no where to go but up!
I so very much wish we could be doing those tea and gardening (or gossip) sessions each afternoon. I could use it about now as well!
And I'm extremely glad to hear you're going to slow down and TAKE SOME TIME FOR YOURSELF! Stop yelling at me to do it, and start doing it yourself, I say! :)
And I must say, your actual bottom (not the emotional one) is looking as stunning as ever. Is it possible to have bottom envy?? Even if you haven't been feeling it, I would say by the images in this post that your art is as incredible as always. I do hope you'll keep it up, whenever it feels fun!
HUGE hugs to you!!
Lin,
We all appreciate your posts and you sharing your thoughts with us. You always give me something new and interesting to think about. Your views are always balanced. Even when you are writing in latin. When you ar up or down. We are only human, and I know that we each have our crosses to bear. Take it easy on yourself and do the things you enjoy. I love the portrait of you.
Its certainly good that you at least recognize the issue and are being proactive about it. Your quality of life is much more important than number crunching. I was just talking on that about Tim Russert. Don't work yourself at the sacrafice of your health. Stress kills, Sweetie. Don't let it get you. I know that first photo is of you burnt out, but goodness, I love it!
the stars must be aligned for rock bottom all around the world. I too have been there recently but am swimming to the light again.
See you soon. Keep on keeping on us entertained Lin.
Regards
Mark
"All the crap falls away, and there’s nothing left except you and the choices you make."
Lin, if that's what the bottom is like, then that's where I live ALL the time. The Bottom must be the place to be! In fact, isn't that just the bottom line about life? It's you and your choices, nothing else, really.
And that's a very lovely bottom you have! Love your portrait, too.
Just keep your sense of humor, and I don't see you losing that whether at bottom or top, and you will be just fine!!!
Thank you for your candid, wise words...always...top or bottom.
Must be the time of year for us cancer patients to feel like hell. I'm there too.
Did a workshop with Pete LaGrand a week ago Wed. and Thurs. and have just have given the RAWs a quick look.
Hang in there. I know, easy for me to say....but please accept those simple words of encouragment.
Cat photography can be 2 fold....a blast..and frustrating. They don't always seem to be the best of subjects...but yet they are.
Please do post some of your cat photos.
sincerly
bt
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