Pillage and Plunder
As we all know, I’m married to a Viking. My very own hunky barbarian is a very typical Norseman warrior. He’s big, hairy (?) and loves to drink and fight (the latter refers to activities purely confined to the dojo of course) and most folks wisely tend to avoid arguing with him. He’s also a mite too fond of the laydeez, especially after a few sups of real ale… he’s hardwired that way. Oh yes, the wild Viking genes are particularly prominent in our dear Mr Fluffy.
But the latest historical research on Viking history by Cambridge University tells me that I’m being overly harsh with regard to my dear partner. The Vikings have been misrepresented, so they say. In fact all this rape, pillage and plundering was a tad overdone….a simple case of misunderstanding as a result of a smear campaign against our dear Norwegian brothers. The Vikings were actually a peaceful people, concerned largely with trade and colonization. Apparently they were not only stylish trend-setters who were highly fashion orientated (flared breeches and horned helmets being their contributions to the Viking Vogue magazines of the time) but they were also gifted artists. Illustration and creativity were very high on their agenda, and they produced some stunning art in their time.
In fact, the Cambridge researchers assure me that far from being illiterate warring thugs who were obsessed with fighting and dragging off pretty women, in actual fact Vikings were part of a highly advanced society who were deeply concerned with integrating into community life. Apparently even their womanizing ways were just a result of bad publicity, and in truth they were dedicated family men who rarely strayed away from their wives and never so much as looked at another woman.
Yeah right.
And in case you’re wondering, yes I’m afraid that I did indeed shoot this. Truly I am a numpty of biblical proportions, not to mention a terrible photographer.
Critical reviews of this astounding piece of high art from beloved friends and family range from “Mine eyes! Mine eyes!” to “That’s just nasty.”
It’s at this point when a woman must face the unvarnished truth and realize that photography is not her defining gift in life, and she should really just stick to writing about it instead.
But the latest historical research on Viking history by Cambridge University tells me that I’m being overly harsh with regard to my dear partner. The Vikings have been misrepresented, so they say. In fact all this rape, pillage and plundering was a tad overdone….a simple case of misunderstanding as a result of a smear campaign against our dear Norwegian brothers. The Vikings were actually a peaceful people, concerned largely with trade and colonization. Apparently they were not only stylish trend-setters who were highly fashion orientated (flared breeches and horned helmets being their contributions to the Viking Vogue magazines of the time) but they were also gifted artists. Illustration and creativity were very high on their agenda, and they produced some stunning art in their time.
In fact, the Cambridge researchers assure me that far from being illiterate warring thugs who were obsessed with fighting and dragging off pretty women, in actual fact Vikings were part of a highly advanced society who were deeply concerned with integrating into community life. Apparently even their womanizing ways were just a result of bad publicity, and in truth they were dedicated family men who rarely strayed away from their wives and never so much as looked at another woman.
Yeah right.
And in case you’re wondering, yes I’m afraid that I did indeed shoot this. Truly I am a numpty of biblical proportions, not to mention a terrible photographer.
Critical reviews of this astounding piece of high art from beloved friends and family range from “Mine eyes! Mine eyes!” to “That’s just nasty.”
It’s at this point when a woman must face the unvarnished truth and realize that photography is not her defining gift in life, and she should really just stick to writing about it instead.
Labels: HoneyB, Miscellaneous



10 Comments:
Every so often I have to remind Roberta of these facts too. We just got a bad rap.
Seriously, why would we have sailed all the way to the English coast to rape a big English woman who can't understand a word we are saying when we had all those six foot tall, beautiful blondes at home. Makes no sense.
The plundering I will buy.
Well as I see it - having ancestors from close by - I'm half Swedish - the Vikings were just ahead of their time. I look at it as an early form of spreading the wealth - before politics made it legal. You have wealth - we take it - then spread it around to our friends.
Wow - Why didn't I think of this when I was a young thin, blond and blued eyed guy looking the get in the young girls panties. Well I'm still blue eyed.
Look Sweetie, this thing about us guys just wanting to get into your panties for a quick horizontal bop and not sleep on the wet spot is all a simple misunderstanding and quite frankly a smear campaign against our gender. We are really a sensitive group that are shocked and appalled at the bad PR we have to put up with just to have a chance to gaze into your eyes, seeking to find that beautiful soul to meld and become one with. Oh - and in the morning as you leave could you bring the paper in from the end of the drive. The dog really isn't holding up his end of that deal.
Have a great weekend
D.L. Wood
My mother is Dutch, but my father's family came from Prussia in the early 1900s. The Prussian family has the high cheek bones, pale blue eyes, and blonde hair of ancestors who came calling to Germany's North Sea shores in their Viking ships. I have decidedly noticed a healthy libido in that side of the family, my father included.
On the day my father died, my husband stopped in to have lunch with him. Daddy was watching "The Price is Right." My husband asked him why he liked that show. He said because he liked to see people win prizes. But we all knew it was because of the pretty girls.
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Cambridge researchers assure me that far from being illiterate warring thugs who were obsessed with fighting and dragging off pretty women. Your husband drags you?
Cambridge must be looking for a loan from a Nordic Bank, so they try political spin to improve the Viking's image :o)
I like your pictures, keep working, trying testing playing. It is all good, you just have to have faith. There are no real bad captured moments, just some that are not appreciated as much as others. Cheers!
When I saw the pic I thought it was the new James Bond! :)~
I forgot to comment on the photo.
Your to hard on yourself Lin. What's wrong with it. It looks like a quick spontaneous fun shot that you nailed.
From a guy who has more chapeaus than he needs - I like the hat.
In answer to “That’s just nasty.” At least she wasn't fondling his long telephoto lens. He does have one doesn't he? I know I usually get comments on mine when I have it out.....mines a 70-200 2.8L IS. :-)
D.L. Wood
D.L. Wood
Ah, that's no ordinary hat. That's Mr Bond's Serious Hat. As for the size of his...erm...extendible lens, nothing less than 1000mm satisfies the Bond laydeez I'm afraid.
"It’s at this point when a woman must face the unvarnished truth and realize that photography is not her defining gift in life, and she should really just stick to writing about it instead.
You write a lot better than most of us photograph, Lin. Besides, it is a hell of a lot cheaper!
1000mm? Not only do I wish I was a Viking secret agent, now I wish I had a 1000mm...lens ...(sulks away in shame...this bloggy-interwebby thingy hurts my feelings..)
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