Lucem Sequimur
The future is inevitable. The form it takes is not.
Michael Shallis
Michael Shallis
In the last couple of months I have lost the ability to write using a pen. Either the nuking experience or the tumour (I’m not sure which) has fried something in my brain and I can no longer hold a pen steadily enough to form letters. Typing is O.K. but it hurts and I can't do it for very long. This is a major bummer as I am a traditional-style writer who has always written long-hand and then typed it up later (the results are better that way, I’ve found.) However it will be impossible to do that now unless things improve dramatically.
I’ve been trying to carry on with writing my posts despite this new twist, but it’s bloody hard and it leaves me grumpy, frustrated, in pain and yelling at the kids. I have been resorting to alcohol and painkillers to deaden the pain so that I can type, but you can only go on for so long doing something as stupid as that before you have to face the inevitable.
When you can’t change something which has been pushed onto you against your will, for a moment you dwell on what might have been, but then you move on. You try something new. You adapt.
Last night Rich sat down, poured me a cup of chamomile tea, and gently but firmly broke the news to me that he’s not coming back to nude photography. This is partially because of the recent censorship crap taking the fun out of it all for him and partially because it is now clear that his wife will probably never be able to model again, and her essay-writing career isn’t looking too promising either.
Why don’t we take a break, he suggested quietly, play around a bit with different ideas and then find a new happy place for us both, one which doesn’t upset the government and one which we can do together. He said that he misses us playing together in the studio, he misses creating with me (his favourite model and muse) but he realises that physically I’m unable to model or write like I want to.
“We’re not happy doing this,” he observed quietly. “Photography is no fun without you. Let’s move on, experiment a bit, try something new, something exciting. How does movie-making sound? Think of it as a natural progression from still pictures to moving pictures - they're not so different. C’mon let’s do it! Come play with me…it’ll be a lot of fun, I promise.”
So that is what we’re going to do.
If (hopefully when) my symptoms subside and my ability to write returns, it may be that in time I will decide to set up a new little (PG friendly) movie blog, in which case I’ll certainly post a forwarding address here for those that are interested. In the meantime, our profound thanks to all our 1500+ regular daily readers and a heartfelt hug to our dear photographic friends for their support over the last three years. We will miss you.
Lin and Rich.
posted by Lin at 8:02 AM
34 Comments:
Very sorry to hear about your physical problems, and the fact that you will be stopping this blog. It has always been one of my favorite stops---because of the writing as much or more than the photos.
I do hope that you can start your new blog. Even at PG it will be well-worth reading.
Lin, I hopped on your bandwagon too late I guess. Where are some of your photos? Do you go by a different name when you model nude? I guess I have missed the backstory about why you can't model any longer, but I for one will miss you deeply. I have enjoyed reading your words and having you comment on my blog. I will certainly miss you. Really would like to see your own work if you'll direct me to it.
Thanks guys.
Z - my modelling name was L-von-B. There are plenty of pictures of me on the blog and web site. Probably the best photograph of me is the one with this post.
Nice shot. Very sexy. Damn, am I bummed now. I am really sad for you, and for me.
Truly a sad day in my life... to lose my favorite read of each day (or posting). Blogs like yours inspired me to start mine, and you have always pushed me forward as hard as anyone.
I've always respected your pushing the most, because you know where I come from better then anyone. You've helped me in more ways then you know... mainly in that for the first time in my life starting the winter before last, I started drinking tea! It's the best advice I've had in a long time!!
I do hope you two will still be "around", even if not posting yourselves (for a bit at least).
I look so forward to seeing what new dreams and passions you two discover (or rediscover) together. Please do make sure to not disappear, won't you???
Hugs and gratitude to you both,
~Lela
Thanks Lela. That means a lot. We won't disappear, I promise.
Maybe we will get to see you in the movies now. :)
Go for it, and have fun doing so.
Damn, damn, damn. Bad news you give us this morning.
I'm distressed for you, and hope you somehow get around this disability, for many reasons only a few of them selfish.
Hopefully we'll hear from you via comments on one or another blog now and again. I'm sure your need to write will surface from time to time.
(Have you tried one of the dictation systems?)
Well, I hope you and Rich can have fun in whatever new direction you go.
Thanks Dave and Stephen.
Stephen, dictation systems appear to work well with American accents but not so well with broad local British accents like mine. But don't worry, we'll keep in touch, I promise. Life without my Daily Dose of Haynes would be intolerable. Plus I'm hopeful that after a suitable rest the problem may repair itself and then I'll be able to start the new blog. As you so rightly observe, my need to write is strong.
I'll fire up the popcorn maker in anticipation of the new movie to come!! I am of course deeply sadden to hear of your physical problems and even sadder for the kids. One should do what one loves for as long as they can. I've been suggesting a break for awhile and now that your heart and body are no longer interested time to move on to a new passion. I wish you and Rich only the best in your new endeavors and a new chance at enjoying your passions. Dear Lin we'll miss your regular voice and those pearl of wisdom and though you dispense. Please keep in touch and never forget we love you. Michael
I'm sad. I'm concerned, as I have been, for your health and well being. I come here every day and always enjoy what you have given us here. Please do stay in touch. I hope one day we will be able to meet in person and talk about photography, modeling and the meaning of life.
Thanks Dave - I hope so too.
I understand because I can't work very long with out Percocet, but I'm still very bummed. It has always been very interesting to hear you point of view on things.
Take a break maybe post when you can, we'll be here.
Lin, this is such a shock. You have held the most mighty pen: the power of your resistance, the power of your kindness, the power of your art, and the power of the beauty that is your essence. The thought of not having new posts from you at fluffytek knocks the breath out of me. But this isn't about me, or about us - all of us out here in cyberworld who love you and will be impoverished by your absence.
You and Rich must go with your hearts. Be well and be happy.
So many times you have made my day Lin and today reading your blog has saddened me but that is me just being selfish. Thank you for all you have done for us out here in bloggy land and all power to you and Rich in your new venture.
Warm regards and very best wishes
Mark Saintz
Very sorry to read about your problems, Lin, but I do hope they will subside and things will get better.
I can get accustomed to a world without the Golden Fluffies, but this is something totally different. The world will be poorer for sure without your contributions here.
Yours,
Darcy
What??
Damn, I really don't know what to say, except that I really admire what you've meant to this art community. For never meeting you, you sure have had an impact on me and my work. I'm really hoping this turns around for you. I'd really love for you and Rich to get back to doing what you love to do. Well, you've got our support, our love, and our well-wishes. I still expect you to keep popping up all over the place every now and again.
Thank you all very much for your wonderful compliments. All of you are our friends and we will miss the nude photographic world very much. I will stay in touch, and assuming my symptoms resolve, I eventually hope to drag you all over to a new blog. Don't worry, you haven't seen the last of us yet :-)
You know how much I understand your pain, as a writer and as a pain companion. It's time my dearest Lin to make what you want, what you feel the best for you.
And never forget : I'll always be there for you, whatever you need or want from me.
Take care.
Your Chris.
Lin and Rich - the best to you both. I am very saddened by this news, but I understand completely. Life, as you well know, is all about shifts, transitions, and flux. The words, emotions, and tone of your post communicate what you're both going through and struggling with. Although I will miss this blog more than I can say, you guys have to do what you have to do. I wish you exciting new experiences and renewed inspiration, in whatever form it takes :-)
Love and friendship,
Claudia
PS- Please keep in contact if you can.
Damn - This is a sad fricking day. I am so sorry that you are experiencing health problems. I've started this a few times and wiped a few tears - I just keep staring at the fricking blinking cursor trying to find the words to say - they don't come easy.
Rich is right. You both need to find a happy place. You need to regain your health. Even though we have come to rely on you for our dose of insight, wisdom, and humor about photography and life in general. Even though we will miss your spunky repartee here and when you leave comments on other blogs. Even though I selfishly don't want this to come to an end. Your family and health are way more important.
So please wrap those hands that can no longer hold a pen around your loving husband and hug him tight. Heed his wisdom. Find your place of happiness and get your health back.
Again this is partly for selfish reasons. Who else puts up with my long rambling comments? I want to be able to again write a comment that pisses you off so I can write you a personal email profusely apologizing and asking for forgiveness for my rudness and lack of judgment. I want to see a post that makes my head hurt as I have to think about how I feel about the subject and how to respond. I would....where is the Fairy Godmother or the Good Witch of the North with the magic wand when you need them...damn Lin I'm gonna miss you.
We have never met but I sure wish you the best for the future. You still make me smile every day as I look at your photo. I will continue to check in here looking for the I'm back post. Your friendship through your blog comments and emails has meant alot to me. Thank you.
D.L. Wood
I am overwhelmed by the comments from you all. Thank you so much for your kindness!
Mr Wood, you still write the best-ever comments, the ones that sock me in the gut and make me all teary. Don't write us off yet! I'm hopeful we'll be back annoying the blogosphere in some shape or form in the future, and you can be sure that I'll let you know when and where.
Damn, I'm off the web for a few days, return to check my favorite blog first and get this news.
I am really sorry to hear that you have been in so much pain doing what you love and what you are so good at. You and Rich are truly talented people and should be doing what you love, hopefully your new endeavo(u)r will bring you the fulfillment you deserve.
Please keep in touch and dictate a post to Rich every once in a while to keep us up to date. (I've been married many decades and so know that wives can be skilled dictators...LOL) I will keep Fluffytek at the top of my blog list.
Thanks George!
After a couple of days off from writing I'm already getting cranky (although my pain is improving, thank God!) Discussions are ongoing about future blogs. In the immortal words of Arnie, "I'll be back."
Stay tuned:-)
Oh, Lin... It is so very clear how much Rich loves his muse! Patty and I are weeping because we love her, too.
Will
I believe this is my first comment on your blog. I read your blog often, sometimes agreeing, and other times not. I always, however, respected your thoughts and points of view.
Those of us who enjoy good health likely don't fully appreciate your challenges. I have an idea, perhaps even a strong idea, of the pain and suffering you're enduring, but I am sure it's still only a shadow of your true reality.
Like almost all others, I abhor governments' attempts to pry into our personal lives and interrupt our liberties and freedoms. I have a strong belief, however, that we citizens will force change to once again allow true free artistic expression.
But this post isn't really about governments and their policies. Instead, it's about you two, Rich and Lin, managing as best you can with your given circumstances. I know that writing and photography are forms of artistic expression as well as therapy and that you've become good and close friends with many of your loyal readers. To be forced to leave still photography and writing behind and to sever your connection with your loyal readers must be painful. I wish you Rich and Lin strength, courage, and peace of mind as you explore new your vistas together.
KS
Thanks Will and KS. Beautiful comments, both!
I'm so proud of your strength and determination to not blog. I think you and your mind need to heal and a break will do you good. Take care of yourself Lin and be well. Till later.
M
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Thank you for the wise words, My dear Fishit. I also think of you as a friend, and you already know how much I love your photography :-)
You have to be able to enjoy Rich and the kids, doing that is far more important to life in the Internet. I learned that lesson a long time ago on IRC.We are having a fabulous time making a short spoof movie with the kids....much laughter and silliness - it's how life should be. Meanwhile I am teaching myself to type with two fingers rather than eight - it's slower but it doesn't hurt, so as soon as I manage to pick up some speed I'll be writing again. In the meantime Rich has to put up with me being cranky (apparently I'm awful to live with when I can't write!)
Well, this all sucks.
However...
If you can share ideas told with motion picture stories as well as you do when you write them in essay form, all is not lost.
So, what's it gonna be? Fictional stuff or non-fiction? (e.g., documentaries.) Will the Hogwartz boy be your Art Director? I'm guessing you're the writer/producer and Rich the videographer/director/editor.
This has been one of my favorite blogs to read. I log on once or twice a week and end up checking out 'what Lin has to say about the world.' Always interesting to read, I will definitely miss your prose. It is a shame that overly fanatical politicians around the world want to interfere with personal freedoms, and that this has led to Rich abandoning his photography of the nude. Hopefully, reason will prevail.
I sincerely hope that your disabilities reverse themselves and so I will keep a lookout for your words of wisdom on the world and its' quirkiness.
Evan
Lin, I miss you!
I learned today that the State of Massachusetts has a bill that, if passed, would prohibit nude photographs being taken of anyone over the age of 60.
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