Waiting for Sunshine

Outside there's brilliant sunshine but I don't feel up to looking at it
(Claude Monet)

The middle of winter isn’t the most inspiring time of the year is it? Here in the drab, flat eastern lands of England Rich and I literally drag ourselves through the days at this time of year. We get up in the pitch black, stick our heads in the coffee pot, rush through breakfast, deliver the boys to the train station (where the poor souls embark on the long and tedious journey to Hogwarts), then come home, get my daughter up and fed (still dark) and off to her local village school, and just as dawn is breaking Rich and I arrive at our local coffee shop where...you guessed it...we immerse ourselves in yet more coffee and a half-hour chat about photography and filmmaking (it's our daily date - we depend on it for our sanity.) Then it’s off to work, where we sit in artificial light all day (it’s overcast outside – we’re not missing much) and then we repeat the whole thing again but in reverse. By the time the boys get home at about 6 p.m. it's pitch black again.

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I do not feel that caffeine addiction is an appropriate way to combat the inevitable gloom brought on by short days and lack of vitamin D. It’s all too easy to lose oneself in desk work and forget about getting outside in actual daylight. But such understandable behaviour is seriously bad news, especially for artists. Studies have established that there is a very close relationship between creativity and depression. Many artists are prone to extreme mood swings and recurring depression due to the highly emotional content of their craft. This applies to photographers (such as Diane Arbus) just as much as it does to writers (Foster-Wallace), painters (Van Gogh) and other artistic mediums. As Eric Maisel said, “The artist's personality, built upon strong desires and compassionate vision, is by its nature prone to depression.”

How do we avoid The Beast? Well I religiously take a vitamin D compound and fish oil supplements every day and I eat carefully balanced nutritious food (no processed food in this house) but even that can only do so much. At this time of year our bodies slow and want to sleep more and I find it difficult to fight against that. Constantly defying one’s circadian rhythms has long term consequences on mood regardless of what you eat and how healthy your brain chemistry is.

So what else can we do? Well, daylight bulbs and light boxes can help. So can getting outdoors whenever possible. Try to get at east fifteen to thirty minutes of sunlight every day. If you are a photographer, consider shooting some landscapes (winter weather provides endless opportunities for glorious winter photography.) If you can’t do this then take some time to create. Book a shoot with a nude – creating art with a beautiful naked woman can’t fail to lift the spirits and boost serotonin levels. If you can combine both (like our dear Mr Levingston) then that would be ideal! No wonder he seems so happy!

But for those of us who cannot do either of these things, what is really important is distraction. Above all, try not to draw inwards into yourself. Make your brain think about creating something, ANYTHING. It doesn’t matter if the end product is not particularly good - the objective isn’t to produce an outstanding piece of art (although it’s nice if you do) but rather to stop yourself being consumed by your inner demons. Suggestions include (but not limited to) visualisation (day-dreams and fantasies are good for you), planning your work for the rest of year, study the work of a new (uplifting) photographer, ask a friend to set you a new challenge or suggest a new project to work on (thank you my dear friend Z.)

But what if you can’t create? Well, I’ve certainly had times when anxiety, worry and the good ol’ winter blues would keep me from being able to write. I used to get so low that my brain went round in circles and I felt that everything I created was crap. The solution? Grit, willpower, bloody mindedness, call it whatever you like, but it all comes down to the same thing. Force yourself to move, both physically and mentally.

Ultimately YOU are the only person who can lift yourself out of your funk. There is no other way. As for me, I still worry too much and get depressed at this time of year, but I just don't let it stop me. I'm just learning to move it to one side and get on with my work.

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Lynx in Pink - I needed a shot of bright colour today

The Language Of Grey

“The photographer's palette is a thousand shades of gray.”
H.E. Clark

My oldest son is learning basic photography at senior school. He’s being taught to experiment with both colour and black and white. So far he doesn’t like his colour photos much. “Colour,” he said, “just doesn’t work for me. It doesn’t matter if I draw something or photograph it, the result is the same. Pictures are simpler, more beautiful in black and white.”

Weird huh? Now that I think about it, he’s probably right, but up until now, I must admit I’d always thought the exact opposite. I’d always associated beauty first and foremost with colour. Think about the millions of photos out there of beautiful sunsets or fantastic mountain scenes. Our brains’ perceptions of colour come with a hard-wired set of emotional responses. Green, for example is associated with lush nature and evokes a calming response, blue evokes a feeling of coolness and space, orange means warmth. But what emotion is associated with grey? In a black and white image there is no such pre-programmed psychological response. It’s more like a documentary where you, the viewer, looks in on the depicted mountain scene from the outside. You recognise the B+W photograph as an art-piece, a representation. Now contrast this with the same mountain photograph in colour, and you will suddenly see it very differently. Your brain will bring the scene alive in your mind and your imagination will instantly transport you to that mountain, you will feel the beautiful blue of the sky and the green grass surround you as if you were really there. So unlike a vibrant colour photograph, a B+W image creates a very definite psychological distance between the viewer and the image.

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But is a B+W photograph simpler? Hmm. Yes…and no. A B+W image is simple and sophisticated at the same time. You have to study it, work at it in order to feel a reaction. There’s no instant automatic response of “ooh, that’s a pretty sunset!” Instead you have to think about the inner message within the image. There’s certainly a huge amount of mood and emotion to be had within the B+W image, but you have to engage your intellect before you feel it. You have to first understand and interpret all the different nuances that make up the hundreds of shades of grey.

Black and white photographs are subtler, more elegant, more alluring, they are an intelligent conversation rather than instant gratification. In the current digital age with millions of colour photos everywhere you look, they stand out easily in a sea of colour images. They ooze class, style, and evoke a sense of timelessness. They look older (even though they might have been taken only an hour ago) because early photography was exclusively B+W so there is an association with endurance and agelessness. Plus there’s also the element of permanence. B+W photos are thought to last longer before fading. O.K. with modern photographic technology that’s no longer true but photographers think they do, so they have a more lasting feel to them.

Many modern photographers argue that precisely because B+W photographs are designed to look old, they are therefore outdated, obsolete, even trite. Fine art photographers are often accused of wallowing in nostalgia, even faking their work to appear artistic simply because it is in B+W. “It’s easy to produce an arty photo of beauty,” the critics sneer. “Just snap a gorgeous woman and convert it to B+W, and hey presto, you have instant art!”

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Lady Lynx

However, for all this perceived simplicity, I would argue that good B+W photographs are actually harder to produce. How do you communicate the message of your image by using grey? Which emotion fits which part of the tonal range? You can’t just snap away blindly, hoping for the best. It takes skill and forethought to communicate in the language of grey. You’re not just recording a scene “as is.” You’re creating a mood, an ambience, a style. In that split second before you press the shutter, you have to imagine what an image is going to look like finished and printed, so as to judge how to use the light as a tool to capture that perfect shade of grey and thus capture the precise emotion you were looking for.

Yikes! Sounds complicated? That’s because it is. As a B+W photographer you have to be a highly talented clairvoyant. You have to see the future before it happens, which takes an immense amount of skill and forethought. When done successfully, the results can evoke a very powerful emotional reaction, and IMO that’s what makes B+W photography such an incredible artistic medium.

Am I making any sense here?

Well obviously not, because after reading this my son rolled his eyes and gave me one of his “Mother’s off on one of her arty-farty-ramblings again” looks.

“O.K. Smarty-pants,” I snapped. “Why do you prefer B+W over colour then?”

“Maybe I’ve just been living with you too long,” he replied tartly.

Is it me, or are teenagers getting bolshier nowadays?

Washing Away Greenwash

(Note for readers: Richard has called this "the most boring post you've ever written." Thanks for the encouraging and positive feedback Rich. Actually I'm having a few days off computer stuff in the interests of spending quality summer time with my children by tramping round forests. So, on the basis that anything is better than nothing, here's a worky post. Who knows, some of you might find it interesting. Others may just enjoy the snooze.)

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Greenwash : The term used to describe the act of misleading consumers regarding the environmental practices of a company or the environmental benefits of a product or service for the purpose of increasing profits, or in order to try and enhance its standing with the general public.

Due to the increasing focus on climate change and global warming there can be no doubt that ensuring a strong ethical culture is of premium importance to companies. The latest research by Deloitte shows that four out of ten consumers will buy more environmentally friendly products this year, so companies want to ensure that their business ethics are sound, and widely publicised too. A business must demonstrate to its consumers that its corporate responsibility isn’t just playing at manipulating its carbon footprint, but that its emphasis and actions regarding protecting the planet are the core focus of the company mission.

Most importantly, those ethics must be genuine. If a company spends millions on advertising its green credentials but also manipulates its statistics to look better, for example if it employs African child labour or exploits local farmers, then those money-motivated practices will be quickly exposed by an ever-vigilant public and the media. In this modern internet age, secrets don’t stay that way for very long. Greenwash is real, and the truth will come out.

So when a company’s reputation is at stake, it is important that all companies analyse their goals and business practices and ensure their policies are rock solid when considering how they use their energy, their ethical trading plans and also their sustainable patterns of consumption. British supermarkets are currently revamping their business ethics and competing for a larger market share of an ever-increasingly environmentally aware general public. If they don’t change to reflect this trend, then their customers will go elsewhere, so it’s important to tow the line, even if it means increasing prices because they have to switch to different suppliers, or reducing their packaging, or even charging for carrier bags (which will be law in the UK next year.) Tesco (the UK equivalent of Walmart) is even carbon-foot-printing its own products. However, because supermarkets are fundamentally cost and profit driven, they will always cut corners and when they do their greenwash is quickly exposed. As John Grant said in his book The Green Marketing Manifesto, "You can't put a lettuce in the window of a butcher's shop and declare that you are now turning vegetarian."

It is a moot point as to whether or not this trend towards social, evironmental and ethical trading is an overly onerous responsibility or a new marketing opportunity, but it is certain that this will be the way forward for future capitalism in the Western World, and one day all companies will operate this way.

Our world is changing. There is no place for eco-cliché in the new corporate world. Advertising spin subsequently exposed as lies will kill a corporate brand stone-dead. Companies should tell the truth, embrace the change, and put ethics and saving the planet at the core of their agenda.

The future of business is green. Just make sure it's real green, not fake.

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Well, I do hope everyone enjoyed my cure for insomnia. If anyone is still conscious after this, please do let me know...

Relative Embarrassments

Apologies for the lack of posts. I haven’t felt much like blogging this week, due to the kids being afflicted with winter vomiting bug, which isn’t exactly conducive to creativity. Oh and we’ve had one of our closest relatives visiting too. Now this chap knows about Rich’s photography and my modelling, and he has always maintained he was completely cool with the whole thing. This was incorrect. He is in actual fact totally appalled and ashamed of us.

Apparently what we do could never be classified as Art. Rich’s photography is some sort of silly mid-life joke, which he will grow out of in the next few months. And as for me, I am a total embarrassment, a floozy and clearly experiencing some sort of sad personal crisis, otherwise why on earth would I be modelling nude and posting my pictures on the internet? And at my age too. I should be ashamed of myself.

Relatives suck.

Now if you’ll please excuse me, I need to go and hit something.



This is Lynx of course. However you’ll notice that she is wearing…gasp…clothes. This was during Rich’s very brief ten-minute foray into fashion photography. This is not art. However, it appears that this is the preferred level of nudity for our more morally constipated viewers.

(R5) The Weight Debate (part 2)

Many thanks to Scott Church for his kind permission to feature the following aptly named and beautiful image. Scott has a new photo blog, which you can view here.

The Complex and the Simple, by Scott Church

Would you photograph this model?

Now of course each of us will have a different, very subjective answer to this question, depending on how we personally feel about shooting larger models. Is she "plus-size" or is she "fat?" Does the language really matter? Yes, I did use the “f” word, deliberately. I can feel you all flinching already.

Size-ism and weight bias rules Western culture. It is the reason that many women (and men) have eating disorders. I frequent a lot of nutrition forums, and the bitchiness between the women is eye-watering. You really wouldn’t believe how nasty people can be about size. In the fashion industry too, thin is equated with perfection. A typical example is Carine Roitfeld (editor of French Vogue) who believes that models can never be too skinny, that only thin is beautiful. The media and entertainment industry’s obsession with rake-thin clothes horses and the Barbie-doll look has done a huge amount of harm to woman-kind in general. It has wrecked our self-esteem, and racked us with self doubt.

Weight bias is even virulent amongst the less educated members of the photographic community. One of the main reasons I left the MM forums was because of the constant vicious attacks on models about weight. One of the worst things a photographer can EVER say to a model is “you’re fat.” And yes, I have seen it happen too many times to count. How rude, how ignorant, but it still happens all of the time. We all know it is wrong, unjust, and I bet all of you reading this agree with me. So, if this is the case, why does seem that the vast majority of nude photographers only photograph thinner women? And by "thinner," I mean size 14 (size 16 in US speak) or under. I’ve no idea if it’s because they can’t find plus size models, or because their personal taste in women is for thinner body-shapes, or simply because thin women are more socially acceptable and sell more images.

I know of at least one photographer who never ever photographs over a US size 4 (UK size 8). He makes no apologies for this, and he’ll freely admit that he just doesn’t find anyone over that size attractive enough to photograph. He subscribes to the “thin is beautiful” regime, and to his credit, he does photograph these svelte ladies extremely well. Of course he could photograph larger women and make them look stunning too, but he doesn’t want to. (He’s a charming chap, BTW.)

Rich, on the other hand, is a personality junkie. He genuinely likes all different body shapes and sizes, and he considers all women potentially good photographic subjects providing they are prepared to “emote” to the camera. In some respects, this is a bad thing as it’s easy to find models who will pose nude, but incredibly difficult to discover models who can express passion in front of the lens.

And then there’s the problem of actually finding a plus-plus size model who will pose nude for us (I mean size 20 or above.) Extensive casting calls on my part have met with abject failure. Unlike the awesomely talented US model Shyly, most larger models in the UK are deeply ashamed to be photographed naked. Although they love art and modelling, they confess to hating their natural bodies, so no nude modelling under any circumstances, which I find immensely sad, albeit predictable. In my teens I was a size 20 (US size 22) and there’s no doubt I hated my body. I wanted to look like the women in Vogue. I wanted to be skinny. Thin = beautiful, acceptable, desirable, LOVED. Even twenty years ago, this was the case. Why? Was this Vogue’s fault? If there had been a fashion magazine for empowered gorgeous larger women, would I have bought it? Hell, no. I would have still bought into the glossy fantasy fashion world. I wanted the dream. I wanted to look like a Barbie doll. I wasn't remotely interested in reality.

The grand irony is, of course, that it goes the other way too. Once you have achieved your ultimate dream of being skinny, you might be absolutely delighted with your new body shape, but I can tell you truthfully that practically every other woman will hate you for it. Very thin women are constantly reviled and demonised by those larger than them. A couple of years ago, just as I was starting modelling, I was a size zero (U.K. size 4.) I was accused by other models of being unhealthy, a traitor to womankind, ugly (apparently my ribs stuck out), emaciated, and one unenlightened photographic critic even thought I looked dead. Mmm…as you can imagine, this did not make me feel so good about my self-worth at the time. Nor did it make me feel desirable, nor more loved. Thank God for Rich, who took some great piccies and really boosted my self-love quota. The more you model nude, the more you learn to love your body. It does wonders for self esteem, and it's great therapy for those with negative self-image issues. If only every woman would do it.

So I’ve been fat, I’ve been thin, and through my experiences as a model, I have since realised that weight should be irrelevant to photography. It's the personality of the model that counts. I mean, who gives a rat’s ass how fat or thin you are, as long as you’re really, genuinely happy in yourself, and you care passionately about your art? That's what produces great photographs, because your emotions are reflected in your work.

Am I crazy? Is nude photography all about selling a fantasy of “the perfect woman?” Why should it be all about making money and what society considers beautiful? What about personality? What about reality? And most importantly, just HOW do we change things? How do we educate women out of the glossy fantasy, and should we even try?

IMHO, the answer might just begin with the image creators. YOU, the photographers, can help challenge the social stereotypes because you are the ones who make the images. YOU are the ones who create the fantasies. The media follow your example, they look at your work and this influences their opinions and shapes their reactions accordingly. The power is with you, the gifted artists, who know that you can reflect the real beauty of ALL women, regardless of whether they are a size 20 or a size zero.

Society will never break this destructive cycle unless you, the artists, help to make it happen.

It’s up to you. You can start to change the way things are. You just have to want to.



Lynx. Perpetuating the fantasy of the ideal size zero perfection? Or just a talented and passionate art model?

What’s in a name?

More observant readers will notice that we’re playing around with our Fluffytek blog title at the moment (well spotted Jimmy!) We’re not really sure what to call it to be honest. For a long time it was “Fluffytek Photographic Art” which was all well and good until Richard took up CGI, whereupon we changed it to “Fluffytek Art Blog” which was nice and general and would cover just about anything Rich wanted to create including mutant-cyber-boobies-from-Venus, or whatever pot-brained idea he came up with next. But the title didn’t really grab you by the balls, if you know what I mean. Time for a re-think, perhaps?

So I was delivering a cup of tea to Rich yesterday afternoon, as he was sitting at his computer, playing with his virtual breasts as usual.

“Are you ever going to create any art that hasn’t got boobies in it?” I asked, eyeing up the cyber-model’s humongous shiny bazookas that were on the screen.

“Probably not,” he admitted, somewhat sheepishly.

“They look like giant pink watermelons,” said my teenage son, appearing from nowhere, as often seems to happen, almost by magic, when pictures of boobies are around.

So once we had booted out the peeping Tom, we discussed the blog further and decided to change the title to “Fluffytek Nudes.” But I’m still not happy. No doubt “Fluffytek Nudes” would significantly bump up our Google hits and internet visibility, but it also will most likely result in the local constabulary banging on the door. Don’t forget it’s Big Brother Country over here. Blogs are monitored very closely.

Anyway, you’re going to see some experimenting with the title for the next few weeks. Please do ignore it (unless you can make some suggestions, which will of course be very welcome.) We’re just playing with ideas, and will probably go back to “Fluffytek Art Blog” in the end. The police don’t seem to mind about this sort of thing too much, as long as we keep it relatively tasteful and call it “art.”Ironically, if we posted the same pictures and writing, but called ourselves pornographers, then our servers would be seized by the cops in no time. Go figure.

Changing the subject slightly, modelling pseudonyms have always fascinated me. I always end up thinking of models by their modelling name, long after I find out their real one. It’s almost as if their modelling name reflects the “real them” more than their real-life name.

When I first started modelling, I decided to give myself a nice, feminine girly makeover, and name myself after a flower. But it had to be the right flower, so as to reflect “the real me.” So my first modelling name was “Dracunculus” after “Dracunculus vulgaris,” the Voodoo Lily or Rotting Flesh Plant. Definitely VERY me. It’s splendid 3 ft purple phallic flower looks like a bit of a monster and smells exactly like rotting flesh for two weeks a year. (I plant them in our garden next to the neighbours’ fence - I don’t like the neighbours much.) But as I consider myself fairly evil, it seemed an apt name. (Aside to potential photographers: please note that I do not actually smell of rotting flesh, even if I often feel like it. I smell of violets mostly, and sometimes chocolate cake. Honestly.)

Anyhoo, the problem with “Dracunculus” was that no-one could spell it, and photographers thought it meant they could shoot goth-horror-dripping-blood-nudes with me (no kidding) so Rich recommended I change it temporarily to the innocuous “L-von-B” until I decided how I wanted to be seen in the modelling world.

Several years later, I’ve given up deciding, and now I mostly just go by my real name. Somewhere along the way in the last few months, especially after my recent faux-pas resulting in me being outed in the local yummy mummy community, I mostly just stopped caring about what other people thought of me being a middle-aged nude model, and decided that the modelling me was actually the real me. Even if it is embarrassing when people find out that I model nude, I no longer hide it, and I can’t be bothered to go back to all the secrecy drama.

Strip the clothes off the woman often enough, let her wander free, naked and as herself, and the layers of pretence, hang-ups and social conditioning will gradually fall away over time. In the end you’re just left with the real person. No fake names necessary any more.

And that process towards “the real you,” is what IMO makes nude photography so amazing, and why every woman should do it.

Although I certainly wouldn’t object to some giant pink watermelon boobies, even if they’re not real.



Lynx. Magnificent.

Off Topic: Why Free Healthcare is Not Better

Yanks usually hold the opinion that a free national healthcare system is better than their privately-funded one. In his movie “Sicko,” Michael Moore championed the UK as a beacon of light of how healthcare should be run. Today, I’m going to set the record straight.

Make no bones about it, the modern UK health system is crappy. Not universally, but often. Some local hospitals are actually run very well, the staff are caring and efficient, and I feel very fortunate to be treated there. Alas, they are not all like that. The “leading UK hospital” I went to in London last week was an example of our National Health Service at its worst.

The reason I went there was to be assessed for cancer treatment, since this hospital is one of only three places in the UK that has the correct machine to treat me, as my tumour is very rare (I told you before I was special.)

Glossing over the dreadful four hour trip on public transport to get there, we arrived exhausted in the most godforsaken place imaginable. The hospital is actually a conveyor belt to hell. The place was cold, filthy, with rows upon rows of nondescript chairs, no amenities, no children’s facilities (and this is trumped as the UK’s leading children’s hospital!), peeling paint, vomit-coloured walls, and nurses who spoke little English.

After insisting that I was in fact, male, with a different address and a different name and after much argument to persuade them otherwise, the nurses finally agreed to let me see "the specialist-otherwise-known-as-God” who would be considering my application for the high-density “nuke-it-and-see” treatment. We were crammed into a six foot square smelly cell and told to wait to see the great man himself. When he finally deigned to see us, he was extremely rude, concentrated largely on unrelated calls from his mobile, and generally treated me like animal excrement. After much grovelling on my part, he did however agree my case met the requisite criteria, and he is now going to “put my case before the hospital’s governing committee.” If this is granted, then we have to follow the lengthy process of trying to obtain funding for the £20K ($40K) treatment from my local Health Authority.

God said the local authority would initially refuse funding, so the matter would certainly go to appeal. He is somewhat optimistic about victory in the end, but the process will undoubtedly take a long time, and there is no guarantee of success. As my local health authority is currently £43m ($86m dollars) in debt, I’m not holding my breath here.

If our free National Healthcare system worked properly, patients shouldn’t have to spend sleepless nights wondering if they can get life-saving treatment. So to Michael Moore who thinks the UK health system is wonderful and the answer to everyone’s prayers, let me tell him that it is actually like any large public state system which is massively overloaded and badly run. Parts of it run splendidly, and parts of it are so mired in debt and bureaucracy that it sucks beyond belief. In other words, it suffers from the same flaws as any other large corporation.

Right now I’d give my right arm for private healthcare. Rather literally I’m afraid.

I know there are at least two bloggie readers out there whose bodies are more ravaged by this crappy disease than I am, and I am genuinely hoping that they have good private healthcare, and that they get treated with the respect and kindness that they need.

Because no-one deserves to be treated like a number.

"Every human being, of whatever origin, of whatever station, deserves respect. We must each respect others even as we respect ourselves.”

Ralph Waldo Emerson




I don't feel Christmassy today, O.K? I do, however, feel like posting an image of the fabulous Lynx.

Two grumpy posts in a row? This is unsatisfactory bloggie service. Now I really can’t keep depressing everyone like this.
*makes mental note to keep to the happy stuff over the Yuletide season*

Naked chicks should be happy chicks.

Honesty.

There is a reason why I don’t have many friends. It’s called honesty.

I tend not to pretty things up for people, I’m blunt, I call it how I see it.

The friends I do have know and accept this, and understand that if you ask my opinion then you had better be damn sure you want to know the honest truth because I won't dress it up.

I don’t often tell people my opinion without being asked. It’s not polite.

I have spent most of this week angry.

Angry at the injustice of a world that in one week would make Lin sick, break my children’s arms, give me a two day migraine headache, and then have a competitor in our day job phone all our resellers to slag off our products and try to sell theirs.

Most of that has passed now. But I’m still angry.

Not at the world. After all, the world just rolls the dice and sometimes you win, and sometimes you loose. It’s neither fair, or unfair, it just is.

But people, there’s the rub.

People have a choice. People can decide to be good, bad, indifferent or anything else. People can care or not give a damn. As I grew up I had great faith in humanity. That people were on the whole good and cared for others. Sympathised with them and on the whole wished them well. As I have grown up I have come to realise that I was wrong. That those who you would call your friends often don’t give a damn. They want only what you can give to them, beyond that you are not of interest.

I think that this week the last vestiges of my faith in humanity died and I am again angry.

I’m angry at 598 people.

That’s the number of people who have read this blog, since Lin posted her comments about having a bad week and being diagnosed with cancer, and were so indifferent that they didn’t leave a comment, didn’t post a message, email or anything else to offer Lin their best wishes. Shame on you.

You are the reason I have no faith in humanity any more. It's difficult to have faith in the whole when only 0.6% of the world live up to your expectations. But I doubt if you give a damn.

Here is a pretty picture to sooth your brow after that, I doubt if you care who it is as long as there are tits in it and I don’t mention the C word.

I expect that this post will lose me 598 readers. Well I don’t care. I would rather take my photographs and write the blog for the 5 people who gave a damn, than the rest of you.

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(All deliveries supplied via UPS. Delivery is dependent on weight of muse but starts at a lo $30. Import taxes to be borne by the customer).

HOW DO I KNOW I’VE GOT THE RIGHT MUSE?

FLUFFYTEK MANUFACTURING INC advises caution. On rare occasions we can sometimes make a mistake, due to malfunction in the order visualisation process, in which case you should re-seal your muse and return her in her original packaging to us within seven days please.

How do you know she’s your genuine article? Well, FLUFFYTEK MANUFACTURING Inc allows you to test her out on a free trial, in order to make sure she’s the real deal.

Tips for Muse-testing:

A real muse will be demanding, challenging and a right royal pain in the ass a fair bit of the time. Of course she is outstandingly beautiful (to you because you designed her), she has a gleam in her eye, she can see straight through your bravado and your bullshit to the essence of the man and artist underneath. A good muse will be strong, confident and she’ll know herself pretty darn well. She will never ever be a fake (if you detect fakery, then the product is defective and must be returned within seven days please.) Remember that your muse will not expect any fakery or possessiveness from you, otherwise the chemistry will be wrong and she won’t perform optimally. She may drive you crazy a lot of the time, but you will love her with a passion (this is absolutely essential. You can’t create real art without the passion. Mutual lust is good too, as this enhances the artistic process.)



INSTALLATION INSTRUCTIONS:

When you receive your muse, please verify that she is the genuine product, and you’re happy with the quality. Then you’re ready to begin. She’s standing there, naked and ready for set-up procedure. Your muse is not delivered personal-photographer-ready. She only has a basic start-up routine and must complete a training process (please refer to installation manual at this point). Because each photographer is an individual, you are a blank slate to her – she has to get to know you first, which will take some time.

FLUFFYTEK MANFUCATURING Inc recommends that you buy her some nice things (something shiny and expensive – Tiffany’s recommended for optimum performance), feed her what she loves, ply her with some good wine, talk to her gently, and talk some more, and then again and again, long into the night, until you’ve bared your very soul. Keep going until she’s sucked you dry and there’s nothing left. Only then can you be free to open up to your potential, be inspired to Art. Talking is the key to good musedom. Only then can you pick up your camera and create amazing and innovative results!

YOUR STATUTORY RIGHTS:

Of course you have full statutory rights regarding your muse. She has a job to do and is designed to perform to optimum standards. Do not allow your muse to be lazy. Refuse to put away your camera and do not let her rest until you’re completely satisfied with her inspirational performance. Shoot every day, several times if necessary. Try for at least three new ideas every day. She is surprisingly resilient, and will supply an infinite stream of ideas under your able guidance. Setting boundaries like this will ensure you stick to your aims and after only one week you will have several hundred new photographs which you should be very happy with.

WHAT DO I GET WHEN I ORDER?

The end result is guaranteed satisfaction, OR YOUR MONEY BACK!
Your Art WILL IMPROVE DRAMATICALLY, even after this short time.

Your muse is ready and waiting FOR YOU!!!

ORDER NOW!!!

Product Warranty Disclaimer:
The Muse and accompanying materials (including instructions for use and manuals and CD Roms, if any) are provided "as is" without warranty of any kind, to the fullest extent permitted by law. All terms implied by law, including without limitation as to satisfactory quality and fitness for purpose, which may by law be excluded or limited and liability in tort including without limitation for negligence and misrepresentation, are hereby excluded. No oral or written advice given by the Manufacturer shall create a warranty or be otherwise actionable and the photographer may not rely on any such information or advice. If the Muse is defective, the Manufacturer will not be responsible for any or all costs of necessary servicing, repair or correction. Because of the high stress of the artistic process, the Manufacturer recommends that you pace your relationship with your muse over time, and treat her kindly and considerately. Otherwise you run the risk of burning out her motor, and she’ll leave you pretty damn fast.

The Grand Experiment

We would like to extend our profound thanks to Pretty Girl Shooter very much for his honest and thought-provoking advice on my searching questions (O.K. more of an interrogation – sorry Jimmy!) about whether to develop the commercial side of our photography i.e. Rich getting paid for private portfolio and other work. Thanks too for all off-blog comments from other folks and (not just photographers) who had a view.

The unanimous vote ? If you shoot to commercial demand, and you do it all of the time, and you shoot only what the customer wants, there is a very real risk of getting disillusioned with nude photography. Apparently this happens with all types of art, not just photography. Even a musician warned us that “Familiarity breeds contempt for the art.”

I must admit that potentially ruining what has become our main passion in life, sounds a pretty horrible prospect.

After much discussion we have decided to let the commercial side of Fluffytek respond synergistically to public demand, and for us to develop a more holistic approach to marketing the private portfolio side of work (I’ve been doing waaay too much marketing this week on the day job!) This is marketing bullshit for we’re doing to do sod-all regarding paid advertising for our private-portfolio photography business, and just let it develop as it currently is, i.e. by word of mouth. Unless of course, the day-job software bombs, in which case we will pimp Richard’s funky photographic stuff as much as inhumanly possible. For now, Rich has his hands full of software anyway. Aggressively marketing a second business would only result in much greater stress on him, thus increasing the threat of killing the passion for his art. A very real risk, according to everyone I have talked to.

The up-side is that we won’t be turning the blog into an advertising forum, and we will continue to be as outspoken, honest and direct as ever. In fact we may get worse. Even if it offends some photographers, models and deters potential clients. A blanket apology to all in advance.

Richard will continue to shoot whatever style he damn well pleases, and may even horrify the odd private client or two, by sneaking in some experimental “dodgy” stuff. He will also sell selected prints.
Although not of me, because I have forbidden it.
Not that anyone would want to buy them anyway, but I just thought I’d mention it. I’m not for sale. (Unless you're a tall geeky computer-nerd/scientist with a singularly dry wit, in which case I am available at a bargain price. Or for David Hewlett, I am free.)

But, for now, anyway, we remain enthusiastic amateurs! As I say to potential models when I ask them to shoot with us: “We make no profit from what we do. We do this because we love it. We do this for Art.”

O.K. So our view of art isn’t the same as everyone else’s. Way too tame for some of you, and too pornographic for others (boggling, but apparently true!) But as long as the Grand Experiment of making Art remains fun, who cares?

‘Only those who attempt the absurd will achieve the impossible.’
— M. C. Escher




The lovely playmate Lynx, in another super-dooper-flexy pose that would definitely give us old 40+ models excruciating cramp if we tried it.

P.S. Do please read BT's treatise on Art, posted as a comment to our last post below. A blog entry in itself, provoking much thought.

A break from blogging

Actually it won't be that long.
There are two reasons:

1. Tomorrow is Rich's birthday.
Hope he likes all the porn, oops, sorry, I mean nude/fetish photography books I have bought him. Plus I have also collected some of the best work from several online bloggie friends, Nad Iksodas (looking forward HUGELY to that one), Melvin Moten's latest Covet book (if it arrives in time!), plus Gary M's latest too. Never say we aren't wildly enthusiastic and devoted fans of your fabulous art :-)
In fact these are as much birthday presents for me, as for him!

2. The last Harry Potter arrives tomorrow. I have been obsessed with these books since the first one. Can't wait to see how it ends. I absolutely refuse to budge off the sofa until I've finished it. Sorry folks, but my heart belongs to Harry until this is over. After seeing nude posters of Harry, oops, I mean Dan, in Equus, I've never been the same....



To float your boat, here's Lynx, of course, in a pose which really shows off her....um...beautiful assets in all their glory.

An ode to the GWC

Still swamped with work. But thought of this little ditty that I'd like to share with you.

[Edit...ditty subsequently removed due to models not understanding the meaning of the word "parody", being mortified at the idea of me being a leery photographer who wants them to get their knickers off, and subsequently cancelling the shoots. Apologies to all who were offended.....Please note for the record, I AM NOT A GUY WITH CAMERA!!!]


To go with this post is Lynx, who recently became a Playboy Cybergirl. Congrats to her!

The Weight Debate

Here in the UK, the furore over size zero models continues unabated. Pressure is building on fashion designers and model agencies to use larger women at shows and photographic shoots amid claims that images of skinny models are contributing to eating disorders.

In due course, the law will be changing too. A UK task force is being set up to discuss the introduction of moves to restrict the use of very thin models, and to limit the production of clothes which are designed to fit only women of that shape. Fashion industry personnel will be trained how to spot signs that models have eating disorders, and model agency staff and photographers would be required to learn how to detect physical and emotional symptoms of anorexia and bulimia, such as the model becoming very secretive about what she eats, undergoing fluctuations in her weight, seeing her hair turn dull and lifeless, and knowing the calorie contents of food but eating little.

The British Fashion Council is rebelling against this, and has refused to ban models whose body mass index is less than 18.5%. Alexandra Shulman (editor of Vogue) has pointed out that this would be discriminating against models, akin to saying you can’t shoot black or white models, and would probably lead to cases of litigation by models who would be banned from working under the new regulations. However, if the above proposals are introduced as law, the British Fashion industry will have very little say about the matter.

No-one is denying that anorexia and bulimia are terrible mental disorders, which are types of Body Dysmorphic Disorder. But to say that the fashion industry is causing these, because young girls aspire to be fashion models, is just finding a single scapegoat for an incredibly complex issue. These illnesses have many causes, and to blame it on clothes designers is just plain ignorant.

Fashion designers make clothes to one particular size because of cost. They need a uniform size, so that many models can wear the same garment at many different shows. Fashion shows and fashion photographs are there to show their clothes in the best possible light, and to make us dream of them and want to own them. They are selling a fantasy. The fact is that the majority of people do not look like this. The average dress size for a woman in the UK is a size 16, US size 18. Because of portrayal in the media, women equate success, power and beauty with being thin. The “If only I could lose weight, I would be happy because I’d look like that glamorous model” argument. Hence the hated of the fashion industry. Or so the argument goes.

But why blame those who make fantasies? Can’t you give women some credit for being able to tell the difference between fantasy and reality? Why does this have to lead to victimising thin women because of their shape?

In this age of ever-expanding waistlines and obesity, thin people are seen as abnormal, unhealthy freaks. Skinny models and thin women in general are being increasingly discriminated against, criticised and labelled unhealthy because they do not fit the social norm.

Whilst I was in hospital, I had at least ten comments from jealous hospital staff regarding my size. Samples include, from nurses, “You need to put on weight”, “I don’t suppose you want any dinner, you obviously don’t eat much”, “You could stand to gain a few pounds”, and finally, from a male doctor “I need to listen to your chest. Please take off all your clothes” (kind of complimentary, but I’m sure he wouldn’t have asked if I’d been a size 16!)

This prejudice made me pretty angry at the time, and I am still incandescent with rage two weeks later. Who the f*** are you to judge me by my appearance? What gives you the RIGHT to make snap judgements on me, and then to think it is O.K. to say so aloud? Since when has being so rude about thin women become socially acceptable?

Just because I am thin, doesn’t mean I starve myself, and it doesn’t mean I am unhealthy. If I had turned round to one of the nurses and said “You’re fat, you need to lose weight because you’re obviously eating too much”, I’d have been reported for insolence and chucked out of the hospital.

For the record, I am currently a UK size 8, which is a US size 4. In my life, I have been from one end of the weight spectrum to another, from a UK size 20 (when I was a tubby teenager) to a UK size 4-6 (US size 0) last year. I have always loved my food, I have never had an eating disorder, and I am healthier now than I have ever been. I don’t starve myself, contrary to what most people think, and I eat a lot more than Richard does (but only weigh half as much). My BMI is currently 18, which means I’d better beware of any aspirations to become a mature fashion model in the future.

In the world of nude modelling, and indeed in life generally, it seems perfectly obvious to me that all women are beautiful, regardless of their weight. All models are individuals who each have a unique inner beauty, no matter their size or shape. Believe me, I know. I am disabled, scarred, disfigured, saggy, scrawny, you name it, and photographers can make me look stunning, so I know what I am talking about when I say that weight is irrelevant in nude modelling.

For the fashion industry, this is not the case, of course, because models are effectively clothes horses, and have to be the same size. But for society to discriminate against all thin models is just plain stupid. And to solely blame the fashion industry for anorexia is equally so. What are we going to have next? Photographers wielding BMI callipers and scales to check a model’s weight before each photoshoot?

The important issue is not a model’s vital statistics, but her health, both physical and mental.

And to all those women who crave to be a size zero, do you have ANY IDEA just how hard it is to find everyday clothes that fit?




Lynx, in a more-glamour-than-fashiony pose. But we’re not very good at fashion yet.

Lin, why do you look at pictures of naked women?

So sayeth my rather straight laced friend this week.
She has a good point. On the surface, I sure don’t seem the type to spend my spare time looking at women sans clothes. I am an upmarket, fast-track, career-hungry, power-driven, ambitious alpha business woman. More importantly, I am most definitely heterosexual. The neighbour stripped half-naked painting his fence yesterday did far more for my inner lust than looking at a pretty naked girl. Unfortunately there’s definitely no girl-girl fantasies lurking beneath my surface (Sorry to burst your bubble).

So why do I do it? Why do I like looking at pictures of nude women? And why would I want to have pictures of beautiful naked chix on my walls?

My friends and relatives think I do it because Rich is "into" it (as part of the mid-life crisis theory), and because I want to keep my marriage together. The “if you can’t beat ‘em, join em” argument. They think it is a way of controlling my husband.

Well, leaving aside my objections on so many different levels to this rather condescending analysis, I can say, hand on heart, that I look at this because a) it’s Art, b) it’s Art I can understand, and c) it’s fun. I appreciate the effort, patience and sheer talent that have gone into making an outstanding nude photograph. I understand it not only from a model’s point of view, but also because I also think the female form is a beautiful thing. Sensuous, curvy, natural, it communicates so much about the “essence of woman” herself and the photographer who took the shot.

This point is critical, and it’s the point that I can’t get across to my friends and family, because they just don’t understand it. No matter what I say, they just think I am making all this up, so I can sponge off Rich’s hobby and thus better control him.

The truth is that I am interested primarily in the psychology of Art. I look at nude images because I want to better understand people.

I am interested in the emotions and thoughts which went into making up the image in the first place. When a model takes off her clothes, she strips herself raw physically and to some extent emotionally, and lets down her psychological barriers, revealing the real person underneath, unhampered by clothes. I can thus better understand the balance between light and dark, and I don’t mean photographically, I am talking psychologically again.

Each person’s personality is made up of a mixture of positive and negative emotions. In general, the negative emotions (a.k.a. the dark side) are often way more interesting than the positive ones. In any given scenario, you can’t possibly understand or speculate on an issue unless you have understood its dark side. A darker lit, more emotionally charged image reveals more about the complexity of a photographer’s psyche than just a simple glamour-style snapshot of a happy pretty girl.

In a nude photograph, particularly a really good portrait nude, I seek to understand the forces and emotions that were in play when that image was taken. The photographer’s thoughts are just as important as the model's, probably more so.

And photographer’s personalities do fascinate me. I seek to understand the REASON WHY the image was made, and what it tells me about the photographer’s soul. I seek to understand what makes him tick. How does he think? What type of person is he? What has happened to him in the past which makes him want to take that particular shot with that particular lighting ? How do his emotions and past psychological scars reflect in his Art?

I do like to look at all pictures of beautiful nude women (and men, if only I could persuade Rich to shoot them), regardless of style, but if an image is just eye candy, I tend to lose interest after a while because I don’t find the Art interesting enough. In order to leave a lasting impression, Art must have depth and draw you in. Above all, I believe that Art should reflect the Truth. The warts and all of the personalities of both photographer and model, rather than just shooting superficial pap which will be pleasing to look at for the mass public.

Like a good black and white nude photograph, the quest for Truth in Art reflects both visual and psychological light and darkness, as well as varying shades of grey.

What you make of the Truth depends completely on your own subjective interpretation of course. But you have to admit, it’s interesting.



(Note to self: Stop being so bloody pretentious. Just because you don’t fancy pretty naked chix such as Lynx here doesn’t mean that it’s not Art. Eye candy may not hang in the National Portrait Gallery, but it makes money. Money = food. Food = good. Therefore eye candy = good. Therefore photographers who shoot eye candy = true to themselves, damn good artists and much wiser than you are)